Have you ever watched a movie and something
about it just stayed with you? For me, it was the TV docudrama The Ann Jillian Story, which portrays
the actress Ann Jillian’s life and battle with breast cancer. Even though it
aired over 25 years ago, I can still remember it clearly. Beautiful actress
beats cancer, but in order to do so, loses her hair and becomes violently ill
every day, almost to the point of death. My overall impression? Chemotherapy,
no thank you! I decided then and there, that unless I got cancer when I was
exceptionally young and had an
exceptionally high chance of success with chemo, with no other options available,
I was never going to experience what
Ann Jillian did. No way, no how. My mother had beaten lung cancer with surgery,
and even though it was risky and her recovery was long and hard, it was nothing
(at least to me, looking on the surface) compared to the pain and agony created
by the side effects of the chemo drugs.
Most of the time, when we think of “side
effects,” we think of physical side effects, usually from medications. Those
are the kind of side effects that made me shudder as I watched the Ann Jillian
Story, and I have experienced my own share of those recently, when I was
prescribed various drugs for different symptoms. I know plenty of people who
take meds for their illnesses and can tolerate the side effects, but I also
know others who can’t and choose to find alternative, homeopathic treatments. I’ve
noticed on some of the medications I’ve been prescribed recently, there is
specific wording that says, “Your doctor has determined that the benefits of
taking this medication outweigh the potential side effects.” Yes, that’s the
key, isn’t it? When Ann Jillian looked at her options for treating her breast
cancer, I’m sure she considered the side effects of the chemo. For her, faced
with life or death, the answer to the question, “Are they worth it??” was an
easy “yes.” For others, who are dealing with other illnesses, which may be
serious and even painful, but aren’t life threatening, the answer might require
more thought, and result in a “maybe” or even “no.”
Side effects aren’t always physical,
though. Sometimes they are emotional. There is no doubt that serious illness is
often accompanied by some negative emotional side effects. After all, grief is
involved. Shock and denial, anxiety and depression, guilt and anger: these are
all normal stages of grief that are experienced prior to hope and acceptance of
a “new normal.” The key is to not stay in any of the initial, negative stages
too long … you have to give yourself time to process all of these feelings,
acknowledging the validity of them, while not allowing yourself to get
overwhelmed by them, leaving you “stuck” in despair. As for me, I find these
are fluid stages and I can sometimes bounce between several, based on how my
body is feeling (which dictates what activities I can or can’t do) or other
external factors. Having to skip a kayaking expedition with my husband because
of fatigue and pain may leave me feeling angry or depressed. But the next day,
when we are at church worshipping or visiting with friends, I will bounce back
to that place of acceptance and confidence in who I am and where I’m at, not
giving my disease too much thought at all. And, of course, there are always
those inspirational stories of people who have gone on to do pretty amazing things despite their
physical limitations or illnesses. Truth be told, those stories can either make me feel hopeful about all I can do, or make my mood even worse, if the reality is that I'll never get there from where I'm at.
OK, so physical side effects are mostly
negative and emotional side effects can go up and down. Are there any other
side effects we need to talk about? Yes. Spiritual side effects. I don’t know
if you ever noticed it before, but the body and the spirit are closely connected.
In all three of the world’s major religions – Christianity, Judaism, and Islam –
fasting (abstaining from food) and praying are frequently done together. And
one of the world’s effective holistic health programs, Alcoholics Anonymous,
from which all of the other 12-step programs have evolved, defines itself as a “spiritual
program” that heals alcoholism, which is medically identified as a physical
disease. Millions of people have walked through the doors of AA since its
founding early in the 20th century, and have not only found physical
healing, but continue to experience the spiritual “side effects” of the program
for many years after the cravings for alcohol disappear.
But what of these spiritual side effects?
What are they and how do we experience them? Well, the first thing we have to
realize is that while physical side effects are rooted in our bodies, and
emotional side effects come from our minds, spiritual
side effects come from the Holy Spirit, which we are given when we turn our
lives and will over to the care of God through Jesus Christ. This is great
news, because it means they are not determined by the condition of our bodies
or our minds. We can be in the early or late stages of our illnesses and still
experience the wonderful “side effects” of being filled with the Holy Spirit.
Likewise, when we are trusting in God, we don’t have to be ruled by our
emotions. Instead, we can experience the fruit (a.k.a. side effects) of the Holy
Spirit, which are “love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,
and self-control.”(Galatians 5:22-23)
There is no doubt I have had times in my
life when I was so focused on my own physical and emotional needs, I left no
room for the Holy Spirit to work. I felt like I was stumbling around in the
dark, and spiritually, I was! I was truly lost, and I don’t mean just before I
accepted Christ as my savior. I mean during those times when I may have trusted
Him for my eternal salvation, but I just wasn’t able to let go and trust Him
for my daily life. Eventually, I came to a place where I realized that when the
Bible said Jesus came to give us “abundant life” that meant for ME too! I
finally decided that the emotional side effects of me carrying all of my
burdens myself were too heavy, and that I wanted what God had to offer instead –
His side effects of peace, love and joy! Since then, I have not been spared
physical pain or even emotional pain. I have suffered chronic migraines, a
painful divorce, and now have RA. But in the midst of it all, I have found the greatest
side effect of all: love. God’s love has transformed me, so no matter what my
circumstances, I can maintain a sense of peace in the midst of trials, joy in
the midst of sorrowful times, and kindness even when my body is crying out in
pain and my emotions want to lash out in anger. He has also brought,
alongside of me, carriers of His gifts: people to love me when I felt the most
unlovable. Yes, spiritual side effects are contagious!
Where are you with your side effects? No
matter where you are physically or emotionally, do you long to experience the
spiritual side effects of the Holy Spirit? They are easy to access, because
they are there for the asking. In Philippians 4:6-7, the Bible says, “Don’t
worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need,
and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can
understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ
Jesus.”
Side Effects: Which Kind Do You Want? originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.
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Side Effects: Which Kind Do You Want? originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.
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