Getting My Life Back

"The Lord sustains them on their sickbed and restores them from their bed of illness." - Psalm 41:3 (NIV)

I went bowling Saturday night.

Yeah, I know it doesn't sound like much of a big deal. For much of last year, though, I wasn't too sure if I'd ever be bowling again.

This time last year, I couldn't even pull a pan out of the oven without crying out in pain. My shoulder, inflamed with a rotator cuff injury and torn biceps tendon - complicated by rheumatoid arthritis - wasn't getting any better with physical therapy and even anti-inflammatory drugs were useless.

When surgery became the only option, I thought that would make me feel better. Ha. If I thought I knew pain before I went under the knife, I was kidding myself. The aftermath was excruciating. The ensuing weakness was ridiculous. Just raising a glass to my mouth was hard work! After five months of physical therapy, I was able to lift 3-pound dumbbells. A few more months, and I was up to 5 pounds. Woo-wee! I felt like a real wonder woman then!

So you can imagine, then, my excitement (coupled with a little nervous anticipation) about the idea of me actually picking up and ... get ready for it ... throwing (!) a 10-pound bowling ball down a lane! I was even more amazed that despite having the (significantly) worst score of the group in the first game, I somehow managed to get my bowling game back on track to become the second-highest scorer in the second round. Wow! There's nothing like a comeback to make you feel great!

Truthfully, it's not just bowling I'm excited about. Bowling is representative of how I feel about my life. I'm getting it back. Slowly but surely, since my RA diagnosis, I'm beginning to feel like the "old me" again.

I'm back in the gym again, and not just for physical therapy. Yes, real workouts! They're shorter and less intense - having learned my lesson on overdoing it and causing a flare - but they are workouts nonetheless.

I'm cooking again. Not just because my family has to eat, but because I want to! I'm even back to poring over cookbooks to plan my next delicious meal.

I'm making my bed, putting on makeup and styling my hair. You know, those things normal women just do. The things I did out of habit until I couldn't do them. The things I probably could have done sooner, but my will to do them had just dried up. They took so much energy that I often skipped them to save enough energy to just get through the higher priority tasks of the day, like showering, dressing and working. After my surgery, and again when my rheumatoid disease was more active, those little self-care tasks felt so hard. Today, they feel good.

This isn't about remission. Today, I don't have any significant RA symptoms, and for that I'm grateful. But it isn't always like that. I have good days, bad days, and many in between. I'm learning how to manage my disease, though.

One of the greatest gifts I have been given since my RA diagnosis was a health coaching program called Pack Health. Through this program, which I discovered a few months ago through a fellow RA blogger, I have learned how to manage certain aspects of my life in order to keep my disease in check. By setting tiny goals and achieving them, and being cheered on by my fabulous coach each week, I have begun to feel better physically.

I have also noticed a change in my outlook. I now know that while I can't control all aspects of my disease, I have control over some areas of my life and that positive change begins with ME!

Every choice I make - from the food I eat to getting fresh air and exercise - makes a difference. In partnership with God - whom I go to each day for the faith, hope and strength to keep on keeping on - I now have confidence that how I feel on bad days isn't how I will feel everyday. And the good days just keep getting better!

For me, beating RA means getting back to being me. Rediscovering the passions in my life, and maybe even finding some new ones. Taking advantage of the good days, making the best of the bad ones, and even making the most of the ones in between. Being able to say, everyday, "Today is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it." It's a new day!

How has a chronic illness or life situation affected you? What tools have you employed to control or overcome the adverse effects of it? Even if you can't do all you used to do, what ways have you found to still be uniquely you and find joy in your everyday life?

Getting My Life Back originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. 

Many of Spring Sight's posts can also be found each week on Grace Esedeke's EncourageMe Monday, Crystal Storms' #IntentionalTuesday,  Kelly Balarie's #RaRaLinkUp, Holly Barrett's Testimony Tuesday, Arabah Joy's Grace & Truth, Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart,  and Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday.

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