Monday, July 25, 2016

Releasing the Ghosts of the Past

“No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” Philippians 3:13 (NLT)

I hadn’t looked at my high school yearbooks in years. There was no need. That was then. This is now. I had moved on. Or so I thought.

As I reached up into the living room cabinet and took one down, I could feel the memories flooding back. Opening the cover, I could hear the spine crackling, as if the book was an ancient artifact, fragile from years of storage.

I felt a sense of dread come over me. Sure, there were some good times back then, but buried in that book were memories that haunted me right down to the core of my soul. These were not just a few bad moments. These were the kinds of ghosts that I had spent years trying to exorcise from my mind, the kinds that would keep me locked up in a prison of guilt and shame, remorse and regret.

There, in the pages of that yearbook, were reminders that my life had spun out of control that year. As I tried to deal with my teenage insecurities, I groped my way through life as in a dark tunnel…feeling my way around, not knowing where I was going. I was lost, and stumbled over and over again. One mistake led to another, and the consequences began to add up. On the outside, I was a bubbly cheerleader on her way to a bright future in college and beyond. Inside, I was a wreck.

I was led down the path of recollection by accident. A classmate had died, prompting me to think of other people I had known and cared about, and wondered where they were now. As I flipped through page after page of pictures and notes, I was saw the younger versions of people I still see on Facebook, who now have kids of their own.

I felt sad that I didn’t know many of them very well. I had been too caught up in my own mess of a life to share in their happy times with friends and family. I also felt sad about the one we had just lost. That was a big surprise to us all. Fit, happy, and the nicest guy you’d ever meet, we couldn’t imagine he would be one of the first to go.

But then I remembered. There was one who had left us long before now. She could have been me. Bubbly on the outside, but dying on the inside. Her mistakes caught up with her before she could stop the permanent damage. I was lucky. I too had run away from God, but He had caught up with me early on and I was willing to turn around while I still could.

As my eyes welled up in tears, remembering all that had transpired, I found a way to be grateful. I was grateful for my husband, who knew my past but welcomed me as his wife despite it; and I was grateful for the classmates who knew me before that last year or two. They knew me for long enough, well enough, to see and believe that I was not just the sum of my mistakes. They somehow found a way to see the good in me, even when I couldn’t see it in myself. For all that I was not, when they wrote in my yearbook, they still called me “friend.” Today, I was included in an email group whose title included the word “family.” Wow.

So often, it is easy to get so caught up with where we have been in the past that we have a hard time looking forward, an attitude that is referred to as “living in the rear view mirror.” For some of us, it’s about shame. We hold onto the pain of our mistakes, or of things done to us by others, and it is as if we are wearing a scarlet letter. We fear of being judged, and so we back away from anyone who might draw close. We are lonely, and yet we live in a prison of self-isolation. We are bound by the ghost of guilt.

For others, it isn’t the failures of the past, but the remembrance of joys we used to have that are holding us back. Perhaps we experienced great success in life, but an illness or other life situation has stripped away our freedom. When we live in the past, we allow bitterness to grow in our hearts and we are unable to take joy in what we have today. Our anger – over that which we can no longer do  – fuels our self-pity. We are haunted by the ghost of resentment, chained to an attitude of unhappiness.
Perhaps you are struggling with ghosts of the past but don’t know what to do. You are not alone.
In the Bible, the spiritual life is often compared to training for a race. In Hebrews 12, we are told to strip off anything that holds us back. We can’t run if we are bound in shackles! And while that analogy is typically applied to sin in our lives that can weigh us down and prevent us from becoming all that God wants us to be, it is also applied to our past. God makes it clear – we can’t move forward if we are driving with our eyes focused in the rear view mirror!

When Moses released the Israelites from captivity in Egypt, he was trying to get them to the Promised Land. What continued to hold them back was their lack of faith in God’s promise for the future. When they took their eyes off the Lord, and focused instead on their fear and frustration, even their prior years of slavery looked good to them. They would grumble, stop and stagnate. In the end, it took them 40 years to go just 240 miles!

In another biblical example, God rescued Lot and his family from the sin-infested cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, before he destroyed them. The instructions were clear: don’t look back! And yet, Lot’s wife, unable to let go of the past, just had to turn around and take another look at what she was leaving behind. In an instant, she became a pillar of salt.

Letting go of the past is not easy. In fact, in one translation of Philippians 13:3, Paul says he strains toward what lies ahead. That implies effort. We can’t just stuff our feelings under the rug and hope they go away. We have to deal with the pain, grieve our loss, and make a conscious choice to move beyond it. We can do that best when we follow some simple guidelines set out in the Bible.
  1. Pray. Philippians 4:6 says not to worry, but rather to pray about everything. Tell God your needs. He hears your hurts. He can feel your fears. Don’t be afraid to be honest. He is there for you, anywhere and anytime.
  2. Cast Your Cares. Psalm 55:22 says that when you cast your cares on the Lord, He will sustain you. When you turn over your burdens, and “let go and let God,” there is healing in your heart. If there is shame, you can find forgiveness. If there is blame, you can forgive, knowing that God will be the ultimate judge and avenger of wrongs. And if there is anger, you can pray for peace and acceptance. As mama says, “there’s no use crying over spilled milk.” Let God take his big paper towels and clean up the mess. That’s His job. It’s your job to let Him do it.
  3. Trust in God’s Promises. Faith is believing what we cannot see. And yet, that’s what it takes to move on. Faith means we accept that all things – even our biggest mistakes and our greatest hurts – work towards our good (Romans 8:28). Faith also means believing that our past doesn’t define us, and that God has good plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11) in the future. And faith means choosing to believe in God’s very big, unconditional love for us (John 3:16) that can wash over our past, our present and our future…into eternity itself.
  4. Stay Focused on Him – By releasing the ghosts of the past, you have room in your heart for the Holy Spirit to fully dwell. Your past or even present struggles don’t just disappear, but you no longer have to focus on them. When your focus is on Jesus and the future He has promised you, that anger, shame and fear has no hold on you anymore. Instead, you can look confidently at the future with His peace, love and joy.
Are you haunted by ghosts from your past? Pray about the burdens you are carrying, and lay them at Jesus’ feet. Believe in God’s promises and be healed from your grief!

Releasing the Ghosts of the Past originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on FacebookPinterest, and Twitter

Many of Spring Sight's posts can also be found each week on Crystal Storms' #IntentionalTuesday,  Kelly Balarie's #RaRaLinkUp, Holly Barrett's Testimony Tuesday, Arabah Joy's Grace & Truth, Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart, and Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday. This week, I am also linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee and Dawn at Journeys in Grace, as well as with Lori Schumaker.


Subscribe to Spring Sight via e-mail



18 comments:

  1. What a great word, Linda! I found your post today on Moment of Hope.
    Isn't it amazing what will chain and tie us to the past.
    I love your steps to let go - esp. #4!
    Hope you have a blessed day~
    Melanie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Melanie! Yes, believing in God's promises gives us so much hope, no matter what our past or present circumstances. Praise be to Him!

      Delete
  2. Thank you, Linda Perkins, for truthful and healing words of encouragement! I really needed to read your blog today via facebook on the Cypress Bible Church women's group. Thanks, again! And God bless you and your ministry to us!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so glad it encouraged you, Ann! I'm grateful for the privilege to share God's love and hope with you and the other ladies in our group. Blessings!

      Delete
  3. Linda, I found little to love about my school years or school until i got to college and it was there I found out how much I loved learning. Now my wife (we graduated from the same HS, same year) says she wished I had liked HS more so I would like college less, after all HS seemed less expensive. LOL

    Yes we do have so many memories and as the years go by we find that GOD is the true life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With all of your degrees, I bet your wife WAS saying that, hahaha! Your last statement is so very true. It was the very wandering away from God that led to my biggest mistakes in life. I can look back in fondness to the days before then, and have found so much joy since coming back to him years later. But that's OK. I have learned to take those mistakes and turn them into testimony of God's patience (ha!) and unconditional love. We are all prodigal children, are we not? Even if it's just for very short periods of time, we will wander away, and yet the Father always welcomes us back with open arms. And yes, amen, THAT is where true life is! Thanks for stopping by, Rick!

      Delete
  4. I'm sorry about the loss of your former classmate. :( It's always strange when people our "own age" die. I recently ran into a former classmate too. I was serving in a food line and she was in line to receive food. I felt slightly awkward at first, hoping it wouldn't make her uncomfortable, but we just hugged and talked and moved past it. We never know which side of the line we'll be on next. So grateful that God can always redeem our past and our futures!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, what a powerful story, Lisa. Thanks for sharing!

      Delete
  5. It is hard to let go of past mistake that want to come back with new life in our minds. My sister recently had a good friend pass and it hit hard. I liked your keys to letting go of the past.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Ginger. Yes, just like a good memory can pop back in our minds, so can the bad. But when we turn them over to the Lord, and pray about it, He gives us the power to let go. Thanks for stopping by! Blessings.

      Delete
  6. yes. I read once that we all have a past, but that's the point, it's past! may you continue to rest and thrive in the light of Jesus.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sue, I am going to remember what you just said! What an encouragement. I appreciate you coming by!

      Delete
  7. Sorry for your loss of your friend. "God makes it clear – we can’t move forward if we are driving with our eyes focused in the rear view mirror!" So true. Thankful that God helps us move forward!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen, Kelly! We just have to keep our eyes on the Driver. :-)

      Delete
  8. Thank you for this thought-filled post that has touched me so. I can see that it has touched many in this line of comments too. I am so sorry for your loss, Linda. I have ghosts come out from my past when I am reminded of a time when I was so lost, so insecure, so frail in my heart. I never felt I could be enough for my mother or good enough to marry, or... so many others. I meandered around in a bad first marriage that still haunts me some, marrying him because I was afraid that no one else would want me. Oh, how sad. It was not until I was 45 that Jesus became my Lord so all of those years of poor feelings. Once in a while, they come back, but Jesus is here with me now and reminds me that I am not alone and that I am good enough. Thank you so much for this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and your experience, Being Woven! What you said reflects some of the same thoughts and feelings I had when I was younger, and some of the same choices I made as a result. How grateful I am that the Lord has healed us both, and that when we slip into insecurity, He is there to remind us that "I am enough." Have a blessed day!

      Delete
  9. Hi Linda,
    I am just getting caught up from last week's Moments of Hope! What a beautiful post this is. I think it means even more to me now that I had the opportunity to spend the weekend with you and be at the receiving end of your encouraging heart and words. Your past has given you a heart to love others. God is using you as His hands and feet, my friend. And I am SO thankful!!
    Hugs,
    Lori

    ReplyDelete
  10. It is interesting to find your words about remembering the past today, Linda, because it was a topic I brought to God in prayer recently when a memory, not a particularly nice one, surfaced. I didn't realize it still caused me to flinch, after so many years, but it did. Your encouragement to pray and give everything to God in faith is a wise antidote to these peace stealing moments our memories recollect.
    Thanks for sharing this at #GraceMoments!
    Blessings,
    Dawn

    ReplyDelete