Embracing Joy

"Don't be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!" - Nehemiah 8:10

Don't let my smile fool you; I am not a naturally happy person.

Neither a sunny optimist nor a depressed pessimist, I am a realist. Unfortunately, reality doesn't often match up with my highest hopes and dreams. And knowing that fact, as evidenced too many times in my life, makes it hard for me to stay up in the clouds of excitement for very long.

When I was first diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (RA), I was relieved to hear that my case was considered mild. After reading up on my disease, however, I quickly learned that it was a progressive disease and couldn't help but begin thinking about "what ifs." What if it gets worse? What if the medicines make me sick or cause me to lose my hair? What if they don't work at all? What if, what if, what if.

It is no wonder that Philippians 4:6 became my favorite Bible verse very early on...by the age of about nine, actually. "Do not worry about anything..." it begins. Yeah right, said Little Miss Worry Wart. "Instead pray about everything." Okay, I will try that, I thought. And so I did.

Giving Thanks for What I Don't Have

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
I Thessalonians 5:18

“Keep an attitude of gratitude.” I’ve heard that phrase over and over again through the years. For me, it’s what I tell myself when I’m going through a hard time. It reminds me to find the little things to be thankful for, especially when the big things in my life are looming over me like a scary monster about to chew me up and spit me out.

An attitude of gratitude has gotten me through a lot in life. In every situation, from my divorce to my father’s death, I have tried to find the silver lining in the dark clouds. “Well, at least it’s amicable,” I mused about the breakup of my marriage; and “He’s no longer suffering” is what I said when my father passed after a two-year battle with cancer. This “silver lining” approach has become so ingrained in me that my closest friends know that every trial I tell them about will be followed up with the statement “but it could be worse…”

Yes, it could be worse, couldn’t it? It’s easy to sit on our pity pot when times are tough; and yet, when you step outside yourself, you find that even with your troubles, there is often someone else hurting a whole lot more. In the “old days” when I was growing up, parents would remind us of this, even if it were to just tell us to eat all the food on our plates. “Think about the starving children in Africa,” they would say. Suddenly we appreciated that we had food at all, even if it wasn’t our favorite dish.

I am reminded of this today because I find myself surrounded by friends and family members for whom it really is worse. While I sit here typing this blog, I am looking out the window at a beautiful sunny day, thinking fondly about the walk I took in the park with a friend this morning and the laughter we shared over coffee. Sure, I have multiple chronic illnesses and a torn rotator cuff that isn’t quite healed. It can be difficult to sleep and sometimes hurts to get dressed in the morning. I don’t like that.

But then I think about a friend whose child is struggling with depression, to the point of suicidal thoughts. Another friend is sitting at the hospital waiting for the doctor to give him a prognosis on his son suffering from traumatic brain injury due to an accident. One family member’s RA treatment isn’t working and she is facing knee replacement, while another family member is preparing for cancer surgery and chemo.

Having a thankful heart, however, is not the same as giving thanks. Giving thanks is an active verb, not a passive condition. God wants our gratitude, but he also wants action behind it.

And the Winner is...

Congratulations to Deb Constien, who won a copy of The Case for Hope book by Lee Strobel in my recent giveaway! Thank you to all who participated by sharing my post with your friends on Facebook and Twitter, and for subscribing to Spring Sight. This was my first giveaway, but I have a few more in mind for 2017, so please continue to let people know about Spring Sight! As you know, this site exists for one sole purpose: to give hope to people who are hurting. 

As I sit here in my living room, looking at my lit Christmas tree, I am reminded of all the gifts I have received this year - love and laughter, hugs and kisses, sunny days and starry nights, cool breezes and warm fires. I truly believe that the best gifts in life are free. We receive some of them from family and friends, and some from the world around us.

So often, when we are diagnosed with a chronic illness, we may think we will no longer receive the gifts life has to offer. And yet, my few years with rheumatoid arthritis has taught me that's not true. Living with RA and my other chronic illnesses, I have learned that I now have other gifts to enjoy.

Returning to Laughter

“So those who went off with heavy hearts will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing.” – Psalm 126:6

It’s been two years since I began this blog. Two years since my father died. Two years since I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (RA). Two years of many tears.

Two years ago, all I could see was pain. Emotional. Physical. Even spiritual, as I shook my fist at God and questioned “Why?” and “Why now?”

Being diagnosed with a chronic, progressive, incurable illness like RA has a way of derailing us emotionally. There we are, headed down the path of life, full of dreams of where we want to go, and suddenly, it all comes to a screeching halt.

I imagine it might be a little like being diagnosed with cancer. There’s something surreal about being told you have a disease that literally has the power to take your life (and yes, RA is more than just joint pain – it can, in fact, be deadly).

Unlike with cancer, however, where the biggest question is often “Can I beat this?” the question for people with autoimmune disorders – RA, lupus, multiple sclerosis, ulcerative colitis, psoriasis and more – is “Can I live with this?” There is no beating it. Even if they go into remission for a time, these are diseases you are stuck with for the rest of your life.

Grieving a diagnosis like this is much like grieving any other loss, though. There are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression … and eventually, acceptance. The key to living with chronic illness is not getting stuck in the first four.

Finding Perfection in the Imperfect

How can a mere mortal presume to stand up to God?  How can an ordinary person pretend to be guiltless? Why, even the moon has its flaws, even the stars aren’t perfect in God’s eyes – Job 25:4-5

Two years ago, when I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, I would never have imagined myself saying the words that came out of my mouth last weekend.

“I am already living my dream, every day!”

I was standing in front of a table at a Christian writers conference, where an author and consultant was doing a prize drawing. All I had to do in order to enter was to write down my “big dream” on the paper covering the table.

I explained that I would have to think on it. As we chatted, I mentioned that I had several chronic illnesses, including RA. The consultant immediately jumped on it.

“Well, I’m sure that’s probably your big dream – to be healed!”

Even to my own surprise, I found myself replying, “Actually, no. That isn’t.”

If you’re a spoonie (someone who suffers from a chronic illness) like me, you’re probably sitting there with a look of disbelief on your face, as you read what I just wrote.

What Doesn't Kill Me Makes Me Stronger

“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33

I looked around me at the women in the pool, watching as their gray-haired heads bobbed up and down to the beat of the loud music. Their wrinkled, sagging skin told me they had at least 10 or 20 years on me, and yet I was the one struggling to keep up.

When we finally got to the end of class, I commented to one lady, “Wow, this water aerobics isn’t for sissies, is it?” She just shrugged and smiled. She was there every day. To her, it was no biggie. To me, this was more than a struggle. It was a matter of life and death.

Finding Hidden Treasures (aka Arthritis in your Armpits!)

“I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.” – Isaiah 45:3

A few years ago, while on a camping trip with my daughter, I learned a new game called geocaching. Similar to a scavenger hunt, you use a global positioning system (GPS) to find a hidden “cache” of treasure. The difference between the two games, however, is that with geocaching, you don’t know exactly what you’re looking for. All you know is that it will be in a container of some kind, and that it will be located at certain coordinates on the GPS. The treasure itself is a surprise.

I have noticed, in my journey with God, that life can sometimes be like geocaching. We are looking for something – our purpose, a new direction, or perhaps a specific answer to prayer – but we aren’t sure exactly what we will find.

Does Your Life Reflect Mardi Gras or Ash Wednesday?

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit in me." - Psalm 51:10

It's Ash Wednesday today and in about an hour, I'll be in church.

It's not my usual church, where the band is loud and the smiles are big as we welcome people into the large sanctuary. We certainly honor Jesus there, with praise and worship and learning how to live more abundantly in His grace.

But today, I want quiet. I am seeking reflection. I am yearning for that soft, still voice - that whisper - from the Holy Spirit, that can only be heard in that moment of silent prayer.

Ash Wednesday.

A day of reflection. A day of repentance. A day when we realize how small we are - from dust to dust - compared to the awesome greatness of God.

On this day, I ran across something on Twitter that prompted me to write a post on Facebook. A post on holiness. Or the lack thereof. A post on the strength of God. And the weakness in all of us.
(See link below, and then keep reading)

A few years ago, a good friend of another faith called me on the carpet about my behavior in a particular situation. Her...
Posted by Linda W Perkins - Author & Speaker on Wednesday, February 10, 2016

On many a day, I seek to reflect Mardi Gras on my blog. I want to tell you how great life can be, despite whatever hurdles you and I may face, especially when we go to God for the joy only He can bring. It's what we all want, isn't it? To live life "like it's 1999"? We want abundance. Massive amounts of it, actually.

But while abundance is good, many times humility is better.

I am reminded today that while we are blessed to be called children of God, and as heirs, we can partake of the abundant life He gives us, we must never take His blessings for granted.

I must remember what Job said, "God gives and takes away."

The life I live must be lived with an attitude of gratitude. After all, it is a gift.

I must also remember what Jesus said, "Without me, you can do nothing."

I can do ALL things through Him, but nothing without Him. I am not the all powerful one. He is.

Today, whether or not your church provides a service or you receive ashes on your forehead, I invite you to partake in Ash Wednesday. To reflect on who you are. As a human. As His disciple.

Be still, and know He is God.

Does Your Life Reflect Mardi Gras or Ash Wednesday? originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. 

Many of Spring Sight's posts can also be found each week on Grace Esedeke's EncourageMe Monday, Crystal Storms' #IntentionalTuesday,  Kelly Balarie's #RaRaLinkUp, Holly Barrett's Testimony Tuesday, Arabah Joy's Grace & Truth, Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart,  and Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday. This week, I am also linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee. 

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When Bad News is Good News

“We don’t know everything, but then we will, just as God completely understands us.” – 1 Corinthians 13:12b (CEV)

I stood up against the church door, propping it open with my foot, greeting people as they came and went from the worship center.

“Good morning!” I said in my most cheerful voice. “Have a great week!” I smiled as I shook a few hands.

As the sunlight streamed down onto my face, sharing its warmth on the cold wintry day, I took a moment to scratch the itchy rough place just above my eyebrow. Darn it! I thought. Still there. My hand reached up a little further to feel a spot on my forehead I had tried for a week not to touch, hoping that not picking at it would make it go away too. Nope. I guess I’ll have to ask about that one too.

It was Sunday, and just one day away from my dermatology appointment. The appointment was a follow up to the one I had six weeks before, where I had been given a cream that was supposed to clear up the red, scaly rash I had developed around my eyebrow. The ten days of treatment had come and gone. Six weeks later, the rough spot had temporarily cleared up but then returned. The spot on my forehead was new.

I examined my face Monday morning before leaving for the doctor’s office. Hmm. Sigh. Well, we will just see what she says, I thought.

An hour later, I was looking at what looked a little like a miniature version of a ray gun I had seen in the movie Star Wars. It wasn’t in the hands of an intergalactic warrior, however. It was in the hands of my dermatologist, who was preparing to use it on my face.

Six weeks beforehand, if my doctor had told me I had two precancerous growths on my face, I would have been concerned. I might have even been alarmed. My sister had said told me a couple months back that she was using a “chemo cream” on a place over her eyebrow, which in fact is what led me to get my own checked out. I didn’t want anything even remotely connected with the words “cancer” or “chemo.”

At this appointment, however, receiving the news that I had two AKs (an acronym for the hard-to-pronounce and even-harder-to-remember diagnosis of Actinic Keratoses) that needed to be removed via the mini-ray gun - er, cryosurgery – was a relief.

Don’t get me wrong; I would have much preferred it if the places on my face were just minor blemishes that could be fixed with a little acne medication or steroid cream. It’s just that the news of my precancerous lesions came after receiving the news of multiple friends with actual cancer.

Suddenly - in light of my friends' diagnoses - my diagnosis seemed like no big deal, in comparison. In fact, I felt grateful for the "bad news" my doctor had delivered. Unless I get an unexpected recurrence of these AKs, or unless more pop up, I’m done. My friends, on the other hand, are not. Nine weeks of chemo here. Six months there. Surgery. And, as I learned when my mother had cancer many years ago (and thankfully recovered from), you’re not considered “cured” until you hit the five-year remission mark.

All of this reminds me that how we deal with life’s ups and downs has much to do with perspective. 

At Christmastime, my daughter whined that Santa didn’t bring her a new iPhone or hoverboard like some of her friends received. Yesterday, I saw a photo of a Syrian child, not much younger than my own, who was literally starving in a refugee camp. Perspective, my child, perspective.

My Spring Sight blog audience is tiny compared to some other Christian bloggers. Yet, those same bloggers are writing and promoting theirs every day, while I am getting paid well to write elsewhere (aka, my “real” job) and have the privilege of spending most evenings and weekends with my family, rather than in front of the computer. Perspective, Linda, perspective.

I beat myself up often because of my struggle to lose the eight to ten pounds that keeps me in the slightly overweight versus healthy category of the weight charts. Then I see someone who, despite doctors and diets, has at least 50 pounds to go before they lose the “morbidly obese” label. To them, I’m already slim. Perspective. It’s all about perspective.

As my wise husband pointed out the other day to my daughter, an attitude of gratitude goes a long way. God cares about what we want, but He cares more about what we need. And perhaps the best way for us to appreciate all that we have, and even that which we don’t, is to look around.

Today, my bad news is good news. Very good news indeed.

How are you at keeping a positive perspective on life’s ups and downs? What do you struggle to be grateful for? Do you have a story to share of “bad news” that you then realized was actually good news?

When Bad News is Good News originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. 

Many of Spring Sight's posts can also be found each week on Grace Esedeke's EncourageMe Monday, Crystal Storms' #IntentionalTuesday,  Kelly Balarie's #RaRaLinkUp, Holly Barrett's Testimony Tuesday, Arabah Joy's Grace & Truth, Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart,  and Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday.

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Getting My Life Back

"The Lord sustains them on their sickbed and restores them from their bed of illness." - Psalm 41:3 (NIV)

I went bowling Saturday night.

Yeah, I know it doesn't sound like much of a big deal. For much of last year, though, I wasn't too sure if I'd ever be bowling again.

This time last year, I couldn't even pull a pan out of the oven without crying out in pain. My shoulder, inflamed with a rotator cuff injury and torn biceps tendon - complicated by rheumatoid arthritis - wasn't getting any better with physical therapy and even anti-inflammatory drugs were useless.

When surgery became the only option, I thought that would make me feel better. Ha. If I thought I knew pain before I went under the knife, I was kidding myself. The aftermath was excruciating. The ensuing weakness was ridiculous. Just raising a glass to my mouth was hard work! After five months of physical therapy, I was able to lift 3-pound dumbbells. A few more months, and I was up to 5 pounds. Woo-wee! I felt like a real wonder woman then!

So you can imagine, then, my excitement (coupled with a little nervous anticipation) about the idea of me actually picking up and ... get ready for it ... throwing (!) a 10-pound bowling ball down a lane! I was even more amazed that despite having the (significantly) worst score of the group in the first game, I somehow managed to get my bowling game back on track to become the second-highest scorer in the second round. Wow! There's nothing like a comeback to make you feel great!

Truthfully, it's not just bowling I'm excited about. Bowling is representative of how I feel about my life. I'm getting it back. Slowly but surely, since my RA diagnosis, I'm beginning to feel like the "old me" again.

I'm back in the gym again, and not just for physical therapy. Yes, real workouts! They're shorter and less intense - having learned my lesson on overdoing it and causing a flare - but they are workouts nonetheless.

I'm cooking again. Not just because my family has to eat, but because I want to! I'm even back to poring over cookbooks to plan my next delicious meal.

I'm making my bed, putting on makeup and styling my hair. You know, those things normal women just do. The things I did out of habit until I couldn't do them. The things I probably could have done sooner, but my will to do them had just dried up. They took so much energy that I often skipped them to save enough energy to just get through the higher priority tasks of the day, like showering, dressing and working. After my surgery, and again when my rheumatoid disease was more active, those little self-care tasks felt so hard. Today, they feel good.

This isn't about remission. Today, I don't have any significant RA symptoms, and for that I'm grateful. But it isn't always like that. I have good days, bad days, and many in between. I'm learning how to manage my disease, though.

One of the greatest gifts I have been given since my RA diagnosis was a health coaching program called Pack Health. Through this program, which I discovered a few months ago through a fellow RA blogger, I have learned how to manage certain aspects of my life in order to keep my disease in check. By setting tiny goals and achieving them, and being cheered on by my fabulous coach each week, I have begun to feel better physically.

I have also noticed a change in my outlook. I now know that while I can't control all aspects of my disease, I have control over some areas of my life and that positive change begins with ME!

Every choice I make - from the food I eat to getting fresh air and exercise - makes a difference. In partnership with God - whom I go to each day for the faith, hope and strength to keep on keeping on - I now have confidence that how I feel on bad days isn't how I will feel everyday. And the good days just keep getting better!

For me, beating RA means getting back to being me. Rediscovering the passions in my life, and maybe even finding some new ones. Taking advantage of the good days, making the best of the bad ones, and even making the most of the ones in between. Being able to say, everyday, "Today is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it." It's a new day!

How has a chronic illness or life situation affected you? What tools have you employed to control or overcome the adverse effects of it? Even if you can't do all you used to do, what ways have you found to still be uniquely you and find joy in your everyday life?

Getting My Life Back originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. 

Many of Spring Sight's posts can also be found each week on Grace Esedeke's EncourageMe Monday, Crystal Storms' #IntentionalTuesday,  Kelly Balarie's #RaRaLinkUp, Holly Barrett's Testimony Tuesday, Arabah Joy's Grace & Truth, Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart,  and Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday.

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Coffee and Kayaks (and Other Favorite Things)

“When the dog bites and the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel so bad!” – My Favorite Things (song)

It’s a sunny Saturday and I’ve been inside at home all day, while my daughter is camping with the Girl Scouts and my husband just returned from kayaking. I had discussed going on both of these outings but decided yesterday that I really didn’t want to do either. I was still recovering from a week-long respiratory virus and as a result of my immune system kicking in, my joints weren’t feeling too great and I was plagued with fatigue. Such is my life with RA. Some days I can do everything I want, and others I can’t.

I won’t say I’m complaining today, though. With the pressure off and my schedule wide open, I awoke relaxed and refreshed, and have been enjoying a really nice day. As I wrote in a previous post, sometimes I just need to rest and that’s OK! Having the day “off” has given me a chance to catch up on missed episodes from the last episode of Blue Bloods so that I’ll be all caught up when this season starts.

Yes, I confess, I love to play armchair detective. I used to be a real one (PI and loss prevention agent, not an actual police officer), so watching all those CSI and cop shows is fun for me. I’m proud of the fact that 90 percent of the time, I figure out “who dunnit” before anyone else in my family. It’s like a little game for us. Having shoulder surgery earlier this year, with a lengthy recovery period that kept me firmly planted on the couch for a month or two, pretty much made me a certified expert. They should send me an honorary shield! Ah, the benefits of a sometimes very sedentary life with RA. No criminal is going to get by me!

In addition to today being armchair detective day for me, it is also the last day I’ll be posting as part of #RABlog Week. It’s been a great week, writing about life with rheumatoid arthritis and reading posts from other bloggers afflicted with this disease. But tomorrow is Sunday, which is my day for rest and worship, and I’m ready to get back to my regular writing schedule of once every week or two. School is back in session and so my mom duties are back in full-swing, and with a full (freelance writing and marketing) client load, I don’t have a ton of time to spare these days. If you’re new to this blog and want more frequent encouragement, please visit my Facebook and Pinterest pages. I post more frequently there, with links to other people’s pages as well.

Anyway,  the #RABlog Week Wildcard Topic I chose to write about today is “Tell us what you really enjoy and how that helps with RA.” I’ve already mentioned about my fascination with detective shows. How does that help with RA? Well, for one thing, it gives me something entertaining and engaging that keeps my mind off any pain I may be experiencing, it doesn’t require that I move (helpful if my knee is acting up), and it’s become an actual bonding experience with me and my family. Anything that can accomplish all three of those things at the same time is pretty great! Not to mention, I can watch those shows and know for absolute certainty that, given I’m not being shot at, my life is better than most of the people I am watching.

Those who know me well, though, know I am most passionate about three things: coffee, kayaking and God. And every single one of those is critical to my wellbeing and how I handle having RA.

I am most passionate about three things: coffee, kayaking and God. 

Coffee keeps me going. As a Louisiana native, coffee is more than a drink to me. It’s an invitation to enjoy life. It’s a tradition. It’s social. It’s not for getting wired up (although it does help with RA fatigue). It’s for calming down. It’s for waking up in the morning. It’s for enjoying in the car on the way to work. It’s what you offer a friend or neighbor, whether you’re just meeting to chat or you’re having a heart-to-heart. And as long as there’s good decaf around, it’s for enjoying after dinner. Pecan pie, or any other dessert for that matter, just isn’t as good without it.

Kayaking keeps me motivated. When I am on the water – taking in the clean, crisp air and natural beauty of the water and woods surrounding me – I feel alive and free.  It is there that all of my stress melts away and I can just breathe…ah…and yet, get in some good exercise at the same time. As I paddle, my shoulders feel strong and agile, the gliding motion somehow helping to soothe all the aches away. My hands may get sore, so I wear gloves and go slow, but being on the water makes it worth it. When I had shoulder surgery, I was more faithful in my rehab than most patients. Why? Because I wasn’t willing to risk not paddling on my bucket-list vacation to the Canadian Rockies. If exercising with RA will keep me in good enough shape to kayak, I will do it every day that I can!

God keeps me grounded. Knowing He is there, all-present and all-powerful, gives me joy and gives me hope. Reading His Word not only reminds me of His promises, but it makes me realize that throughout history, He has done some mighty powerful things, even in and through broken people like me. And time in prayer helps me stay grounded in gratitude. Some days are harder than others, but I can always find something to be thankful for, and it seems easier to find that place of peace when I close my eyes and rest in His presence.

Thanks for joining me this week for #RABlog Week. Stay tuned for my next post, which will be featured on Kelly Balarie’s Purposeful Faith page next week. Until then, be well and God bless!

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Coffee and Kayaks (and Other Favorite Things) originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. It is one of a series of posts specifically about Rheumatoid Arthritis, as part of #RABlog Week. 

Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. 

Praise Him for All He Has Done!

“I will tell of the LORD’s unfailing love. I will praise the LORD for all he has done. I will rejoice in his great goodness…” – Isaiah 63:7

The birth of a baby. We celebrate it, showering mother and baby alike with gifts and congratulations. We anticipate. Dream. Prepare. Mother shops for baby clothes and imagines her little princess all dressed up like a little doll … aw, how cute! Father pictures himself playing ball with his son … atta boy! The nursery is painted pink or blue, or perhaps a pale shade of yellow which could go either way. The crib is up to standards. The diapers are ready. Any day now. Tick tock goes the clock.

The day comes. It’s a boy! It’s a girl! Family is there and pictures are shared. It’s a day to remember.

Or is it?

We have a funny way of looking at things sometimes.

When baby is smiling and happy, looking so cute in those brand new outfits, and so peaceful asleep in the crib, we remember…God is good! He has brought us the blessing we so anticipated!

When baby is crying, though, and we’ve had little sleep … when the spit-up misses the cloth and lands on mommy’s church dress instead, and daddy has traded in his evening TV sports shows for bottle feedings and burping … oh my, we are exhausted! Where is God? We don’t care. Just give us a place and some peace, to rest our weary heads! It is in this moment that we remember…

This bundle of “joy” began with a whole lot of pain. And we’re not sure it’s over yet.

That’s right. Pain. It’s the very thing we hate that often signals the beginning of new life.

Pain. It’s the very thing we hate that often signals the beginning of new life.

In the midst of labor, a woman experiences the worst pain she will probably feel her entire life. Yet, on the other side of it is a love she will never have experienced before. So it is for many other things in life.

Teens struggle in search of their identity, painfully learning lessons the hard way, until they reach a point as young adults where they find purpose for their lives. Addicts have to hit bottom before they are ready to climb out of the pit of despair, into a new life of freedom. Illness may take hold of us with an icy, near-death grip, before we find healing. Grief over the loss of a loved one takes us to new depths of emotional pain until one day, holding the very hand of God, we realize there is still hope … for Jesus has conquered the grave … of seeing our loved one again. And in the meantime, we begin again.

Just as a baby must leave the comfort of his mother’s womb, we must leave the familiarity of the past in order to experience the newness of today. And just like his mother, laboring for the birth of her child, we must hold onto the truth that while the pain may seem to last forever, in the end, it will be worth it.

We may not like it, but pain is often what puts life in perspective. How can we be grateful for a pain-free life if we have never known what it is to feel pain? Be honest. How often, when life is good, have you wondered if it’s as good as it gets? Envy creeps in. Perhaps good isn’t good enough. Until it’s bad. Or we see someone else in a situation worse than ours. It’s then we realize…life really is good, when we look at it through the eyes of gratitude.

A year ago, when I began this blog, I was in grief. I had lost my father and my health. I felt the pain and fought not to wallow in it. Today, I see that pain was the beginning of something beautiful. Not just the opportunity to encourage others, by sharing my journey, but of a transforming attitude adjustment that God needed to work in me. Today, I see it. I lost my father…and grew closer to my mother. I lost my health…but by the grace of God and some great medical support, found it again. And in the midst of it all, I found my faith stronger than ever. Today, I am grateful. For the big things. For the little. And for everything in between.

Through the pain, I learned to trust. God is good. All the time. I will praise the Lord for all He has done!

What do you have to praise God for today? Are you focused on the pain, or the new beginning that God is bringing to your life? If the pain is past, share the gratitude for what you have today…yes, even if life isn’t just perfect. If you are still in pain, hold onto hope. Trust that God will lead you through it. You may not see it now, but what He has planned for you will be worth waiting for.

Praise Him for All He Has Done! originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins.  Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.

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Betrayed by My Body, but Not by God

“…For God has said, “I will never, never fail you nor forsake you.” – Hebrews 13:5b (TLB)

I reached back to hook my bra. Nooo…well, maybe…ugh! I gave up. It just wasn’t going to happen today. Perhaps tomorrow I’d try again, and if not then, maybe the next day I would be able to accomplish something I used to take for granted every day. Every day before RA and shoulder surgery, that is.

It’s not just my bra that’s a challenge, either. From opening a jar to shooting baskets with my 10-year-old to losing weight, nothing seems easy anymore and there are some things that just seem impossible now. Some days, I have the patience to deal with my new limitations, while on others, I want to just scream with frustration. I hear myself echoing the same sentiments I encounter on online support boards for people with rheumatoid arthritis and similar chronic illnesses, “What has happened to my body??!!”

Click here for a concise, holistic picture of my life with RA

The first time I heard someone talk about the effects of this illness, the person gave a short but very succinct testimony, “I was fit and active. Then my body betrayed me.” He went on to explain the daily pain he was now in and the lengths he had gone to in trying to treat and manage his disease, but to no end. He was now struggling to deal with his “new normal” and comparing it to life “before” was not making it any easier.

Change is hard. We grow up not realizing how well our parents cared for us until we are suddenly thrust into adulthood, having to pay our own bills and manage family responsibilities of our own. We can find ourselves overwhelmed and feeling underwater, even when on the surface, things seem good. When trouble – divorce, job loss, or serious illness – comes into our lives, the feelings of “What happened??” are even more intense. We look back at what we thought we had – the perfect marriage, the ideal job, the best body – and even perhaps remember how hard we worked for those – and we are struck with grief over our losses and can’t help but feel betrayed.

In divorce, often that sense of anger and betrayal is focused on the ex-spouse. In job loss, it’s towards the former employer. But what about when you feel your body has betrayed you? Who then to blame? There are only two places that anger goes – towards ourselves and towards God.

I see others with my disease who are accomplishing more, and my jealousy becomes anger turned inwards. “I should be able to do more!” I cry. I feel ashamed and worthless. The pity party begins. Sometimes I can snap out of it. Sometimes I can’t and it becomes a daily depression I must fight just to keep going.

At other times, when I find myself fighting uphill battles that I just can’t win because of my illness, I stop getting mad at me and get mad at God instead. After all, I didn’t cause this disease, did I? No, it just happened. As hard as I have worked and as many treatments I have tried, I can’t get back the life I had and I can’t cure my disease. “God, I want my life back!!” I scream.

And God whispers back, “You still have your life. I’m still here.”

It's then I see the many blessings around me that I didn't even notice because I was too busy being wrapped up in Nevermore.

Fleetwood Mac had it right when they penned the song lyrics, “Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow … yesterday’s gone, yesterday’s gone!” Our lives move forward, not backwards. And as tempting as it is to continue to look in the rear view mirror, yesterday wasn’t perfect either. There were struggles then too. Just of a different kind. God didn’t leave you then and he’s not leaving you now. In fact, He says over and over again in the Bible, “I will never leave you, nor forsake you.” I know that when I look back over my life, that promise rings true. I can see that one set of footprints in the sand where He carried me. The challenge is keeping my heart open for Him to carry me through whatever I am struggling with today.

One of the obstacles I have been facing lately is some extra weight I have gained that just doesn’t want to come off, no matter how much I diet and exercise. Worried about the impact this might have on my young marriage, I expressed my frustration to my husband. He encouraged me that perhaps I should be more patient. It was then I had to confess my real fear. “But what if I never lose it?” I asked him. “Could you still love me the way I look now…if I never get back to where I used to be?” With the kindest look in his eyes, he gently lifted my face to his. “Don’t you understand? It’s not about how you look or what you can do. I love you!” he said. I knew this was something I needed to hear, something I needed to internalize as the truth. And I knew it wasn’t just my spouse who was telling me this. It was God. My body may have betrayed me, but He did not. I am loved. Just the way I am.

Has your disease or life situation made you feel betrayed? Can you let go of your anger at yourself and God so that He can carry you through what you’re experiencing? You may not be all you used to be, but you are perfectly loved right where you are – and for who you are - today

Betrayed by My Body, but Not by God originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins.  Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.

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Paying It Forward: A Truer Picture of Thanksgiving

“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.” – John 13:34

‘Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la la la la la.

Oh wait! Wrong holiday. It looks like Christmas, with a proliferation of stores donning twinkling lights, gold tinsel, and displays of brightly decorated packages in red and green; and even the weather – with five feet of snow in some places – seems to think it’s December already.  But no, it’s a national holiday with the most humble of beginnings that used to signify something important, but somehow has become increasingly buried in a frenzy of football games and Black Friday retail sales. Yes, it’s that time of year again. It’s Thanksgiving.

It began almost 400 years ago with a boatload of Pilgrims struggling to settle into a newly discovered land, giving thanks to God for their very survival, made possible by Native Americans who shared their food crop. It has continued with traditions of family gatherings and feasts of turkey, corn and cranberries, reflecting the fruits of the land upon which we were founded.

From the richest of rich, to the poorest of poor, Thanksgiving was designed to bring to mind a most important concept: gratitude. The question is, “How do you express your gratitude?”

For many years, gratitude was something ingrained into our society. When we sat down to a meal, we gave thanks to God and to the host/hostess for the food. When we received a gift, we wrote out a handwritten thank you note. We acknowledged when someone did even the smallest act of kindness, such as opening a door. Perhaps it was those expressions of appreciation that made us want to do more for others. It wasn’t a burden. It was a privilege. In contrast to today’s world, in which we have to be reminded by books to keep “an attitude of gratitude,” we already had one. Courtesy and helpfulness weren’t the exception to the rule; they were the standard way of life.

A few years ago, a TV commercial aired and quickly became viral on the Internet. In it, one person did something kind for someone else, and then that person was inspired to do something for the next person he crossed. The concept of “paying it forward” was born.

While we may think of it as a new idea, “paying it forward” is not a new concept after all. It’s actually about 2,000 years old, originating with Jesus, as He commanded His disciples, “Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.”

In His commandment to “love others, just as I have loved you,” Jesus asked us to follow His example – basically, to “pay forward” His love. And He knew we were capable of it, because He considered something we often forget, which is that we were made in the image of God. Since God is love, we were made to love. And because God is love, that means He also loves to give. In the Garden of Eden, God saw that Adam did not feel complete without a mate, and so He gave him a woman. Up on a mountain, when Abraham looked for a sacrifice, God provided a ram. And when we as a people couldn’t ever measure up to God’s holy standards to find fellowship with Him, He provided a Savior.

 

Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Why? As children of God, it is in our DNA to give. Wholly. Unselfishly. Lovingly. We cannot receive over and over again without feeling out of balance. We must find a way to give, or we will never find the peace, joy and abundant life we were created for.

If you’ve been following this blog for the past few months, you’ll know it’s not been an easy time in my life. From my father’s passing to an RA diagnosis, to a bad tooth paired with chronic migraines, it’s been a period filled with pain, one in which I leaned heavily on my husband to help me through. My gratitude grew immense as time went on, but there was a burden that came with it. I didn’t know how to give back.

Then it happened. My husband became ill with back-to-back viruses that put him out of commission for almost a week. As he alternated between the bed and the couch, shivering with chills under a blanket, I served as nurse, taking his temperature, administering medicine, and fetching him soothing foods and beverages. “Rest,” I would say with assurance, “I’ll take care of you.” Even as I became sick with the first virus, I was in better shape than he was. Besides, it felt good to be the caretaker, after so much time of being cared for by him. In giving to him, rather than just receiving, I felt better than I had in a long time.

This Thanksgiving, I bowed my head in prayer to thank God for all the gifts He has given me the past year, including the wonderful husband I now share my life with. I also thanked Him for the wisdom He recently imparted to me: Whether it is “repaying kindness with kindness” to someone who has helped me or “paying it forward” to someone else, the best expression of my gratitude is to give.

How are you expressing your gratitude during this season of Thanksgiving? Do you know what it is to find joy in giving rather than receiving, as we head into the holiday season?

Paying It Forward: A Truer Picture of Thanksgiving originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins.  Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.

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