Rest for the Weary

 "Come to me, all you who are weary, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28

I planned to write this post at the end of 2020. It was a long year, wasn't it? We thought it couldn't get worse. Yet, here we are in 2021 and there are still major upheavals in our lives due to the COVID-19 pandemic. In the United States, we have a new president and while some are happy about that, some are clearly not, as evidenced by the violent storming of the Capitol by extremists on January 6 and the subsequent impeachment of Donald Trump. Sigh. Drama, drama, drama. Whichever side you're on, the daily news is pretty exhausting most of the time. Add in a dose of chronic illness (with the fear of getting even sicker thanks to the coronavirus) and it can be pretty overwhelming, right?

If it's any consolation, life back in Jesus' time was no less complicated. Throughout the Bible, you find stories of ordinary people caught up in extraordinary circumstances. Famines and plagues were not uncommon. God's people traveled from land to land, sometimes being enslaved or persecuted, while at other times finding themselves wandering around in the desert due to their own disobedience. Jesus' family had to flee the country to protect Him from being executed while He was just a baby, and then He became highly unpopular with the Pharisees, from the start of His ministry all the way through to His crucifixion. Jesus knew that life could be stressful, not just some of the time, but a LOT of the time.

Jesus' invitation to rest in Him when we are weary reflects the prayer of King David in Psalm 23. Verses 1-4 from the New Living Bible say:

The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
Even when I walk through the darkest valley
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.

Do you see here what resting in the Lord means? We not have all we want, but in Him, we have all we need. Like a shepherd tending his flock, Jesus lets us rest when we are weary, while He keeps watch over us. He leads us beside peaceful streams, giving us living water for our parched and thirsty souls. He renews our strength when we feel like we can't go on. He guides us along right paths, giving us discernment and wisdom, direction and purpose, when we aren't sure which way to go. Even when we are in the darkest times of our lives, we need not be afraid, for we know He is close by, there to protect and comfort us.

No matter what you may be facing in 2021, you are not alone. God is with us in Emmanuel. He will walk with you, guide you and protect you, allowing you to rest in His presence while regaining the strength you need to continue on your journey. Do not be dismayed. Do not be discouraged. Do not be afraid. Instead, take courage from the power of His might. And when you are weary, go to Jesus. He will give you rest.

Peace, love and joy to you today.

Linda

Rest for the Weary originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook. 

13 Reasons Why {Not}

"So don’t worry, because I am with you. Don’t be afraid, because I am your God. I will make you strong and will help you. I will support you with my right hand that saves you." - Isaiah 41:10

It was an ordinary Friday night. We had just gone to dinner as a family and were settling down in front of the TV, talking about what to watch.

"You should watch 13 Reasons Why, Mom," my daughter said. "It's really good!"

Curious about the show she had mentioned once before, I looked online to see if there was more information on it before making a decision. Why yes, there was. A whole lot of positive reviews for its direction and creativity, and a whole lot of talk from parents and psychologists expressing concern over the graphic content and messaging that was making suicide hotlines light up like Christmas trees.

If you don't have a tween or teen, you might not have heard of the latest show on Netflix, which is based on a novel in which a teenage girl commits suicide. The "13 reasons why" refer to 13 messages she left for individuals whose actions played a part in her decision to take her life.

I will be the first to tell you I haven't seen the show and I don't plan to. I will also say that the same night I learned about it, I took steps to adjust the parental controls on my TV and my daughter's cell phone.

There are some who think we as parents should watch the show "to understand what our teens face" in today's world. By all means, if you grew up in an untarnished, sheltered environment, perhaps this is the eye opener you need. Drinking, drugs, bullying and date rape...it's all there, graphically depicted (apparently).

But as for me, I haven't always lived in the light. I have touched that darkness - the despair, the depression, the shame, the hopelessness - and was almost swallowed up by it. I'm not going back. And I'm certainly not taking my 12-year-old back with me.

When I began writing this blog almost three years ago, it was to give people hope. Living with chronic illness is not easy. Depression is common, and suicide is not unheard of. When the pain feels like it will never end, when your life feels over, it is easy to give up. There are those who do. But I'm here to tell you - DON'T. 

I spent the first few months of this year in daily, intense pain from chronic migraines. If you have ever had a true migraine, you will know what I mean when I say it's not just a headache. At one point, during a trip to New York, I rocked back and forth on the bed, holding my head, crying and screaming, "Please help me. Somebody, help me!" Not long afterwards, I went into the bathroom and threw up, before crawling back into bed and finally passing out from the pain.

If ever there was a degree of physical pain that made me feel like giving up, it has been during episodes of severe migraine. I have literally felt like dying at times, because I thought I couldn't handle the pain even one more minute.

And yet, here I am.

Thankfully, God designed our bodies not to remember physical pain. I can tell you what happened, and generally how I felt, but I can't re-live the pain itself. Unfortunately, that isn't the case with emotional scars. Those wounds can sometimes take a lifetime to heal, and when they are reopened, they can hurt just as much as when the initial pain was inflicted.

When I am hurting physically, I may feel like dying, but when the pain goes away, life looks sunny again. It's easy to then see that "this too shall pass" because it really does. Even with chronic illness, there are moments when the pain dissipates enough to find moments of joy. It's important to look for those, because it helps you endure the rest of the time. Looking at my photos from New York, no one would ever know I had spent half the trip in pain, because the rest of the time, I was all smiles! Yes, there were a few of those pics where I was in "fake it 'til you make it" mode, but for the most part, I managed to salvage some really great moments that far outweighed the nightmare migraines I endured.

We have to be careful with emotional pain, though. I don't know who coined the phrase "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me," because that's just not true. Harsh words, coming from friends or family members, cut deep. We begin to believe what we hear, and wonder if we really are OK...or not. 

Our mistakes can hurt too. When I look back at my teen years and even into my 20's, it's easy to beat myself up over the many poor decisions I made. I may have changed my ways, but the consequences of those decisions didn't just disappear. There are so many times I have wished I could go back and have a "redo."

And sexual violence and abuse...well, that pain cut to the very core of who I was, and it took years of therapy for the flashbacks and nightmares to stop. I can still remember hands holding me down, then the hand placed over my mouth as I cried out in pain, ordered to "shut up!" because someone might hear; and the sting of my tears when it hit me that I was not a virgin anymore.

Night after night, for many years, I cried out to the Lord, "Why God, why?" I certainly could have come up with 13 good reasons to take my life. And yet, I did not. Growing up in the church, I was told suicide was the one unforgivable sin, because how can you confess killing yourself when you are already dead? I'm not sure that God in His infinite mercy wouldn't have forgiven me, but I do know that was not the only thing that kept me alive. 

The words spoken by God in Isaiah 41:10 are powerful. Don’t be afraid, because I am your God. I will make you strong and will help you. I will support you with my right hand that saves you. Every moment of every day in which I have been in either physical or emotional pain, I have had to remember them. God will help me. God is with me. God will save me.

Despite my health situation, despite my poor choices, despite whatever bad things I have believed about myself, and despite the physical and psychological trauma I have experienced, I have held on to those promises: God will help me. God is with me. God will save me.

And you know what? He has.

Jeremiah 29:11 says that God has a plan for us...a good one! The only way to find out about that plan, though, is to live it out. We have to wade through the mud, fight the battles, and allow God to cut away entanglements that hold us back, in order to reach the promised land He has for us. Sometimes it isn't easy. Sometimes, we aren't sure we are going to make it, or whether it's worth it. But it is. It always is. How do we know? Because He says so.

Back in my younger days, surrounded by darkness and not seeing much light ahead of me, I could have found 13 reasons why my life wasn't worth living. Today, looking back in hindsight, I can find 13 reasons - and more - that God wanted me to hold on for. 

If I were able to talk to my teenage self and tell her the 13 reasons why not to take her own life, here are what they would be:

1. God has a plan for you - a good one - and you will get to hold His hand through your entire journey, finding more comfort and joy, peace and love than you ever thought possible.

2. You may not realize it, but you're not alone. A lot of people look perfect on the outside, but their life is messy too. Even Jesus suffered through gossip, betrayal, pain and loss. He gets what you're going through.

3. You think if you were only "good enough" those people will like you. The truth is, some people won't like you even if you're the most wonderful person in the world. That's more about them than it is about you.

4. You think your pain is never going to end, but I promise it will. One day, you'll graduate. One day, you'll move (or they will). One day, you'll meet people who like you just the way you are. One day, your broken heart will heal. One day, you won't just notice the rain. You'll see the sunshine and notice the flowers too.

5. Your parents aren't perfect. Neither are you. Do the best you can to deal with them, the same way they are doing the best they can to deal with you. That whole parenting thing is as hard for them as it feels to you.

6. Everyone makes mistakes. Lots of them. Learn from them, but forgive yourself too. God loves you, warts and all, and the Bible is full of people who have screwed up but God used them anyway! Keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will eventually get where you need to be.

7. You may feel powerless, but God is all powerful. Give your biggest problems to Him, do the next right thing, and leave the results to Him.

8. That rape or physical abuse? No, it's not your fault and don't let anyone say otherwise. You didn't ask for it and you didn't deserve it. Stop blaming yourself and get some help instead.

9. Just because "everybody's doing it" doesn't mean you need to. There are many miserable people in the world, doing things they know aren't right. Don't become one, just to fit in. Live your values and you'll keep your confidence.

10. There isn't any problem that an alcoholic drink or drug (or act of self-harm) won't make worse. And even if you feel better momentarily, there will be a hefty price to pay the next day or even further down the road. Reach out for help instead.

11. When God feels far away, remember who's moved. He is always there for you. Don't forget to reach up.

12. Don't be a victim of "stinking thinking." Fill your mind with positive thoughts and surround yourself with positive people. You have to look beyond your problems to find the solutions.

13. Life is like a rose: it is full of petals and thorns. Yes, sometimes it's painful, but there's an awful lot of beauty there too. Count your blessings every day. A little gratitude can go a long way.

Had I not chosen to live through the pain of my early years, I hate to think what I would have missed later on: quiet sunrises, gorgeous sunsets, warm embraces, wildflowers in the spring, happy smiles and travel across the miles. Every day, there is something new to look forward to.

The world is tough and pain is real. Just don't forget whose you are, and who's got your back! God will help you. God is with you. God will save you...every time.

Peace, joy and love to you today,

Linda

13 Reasons Why {Not} originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook and Twitter. 

Many of Spring Sight's posts can also be found each week on Crystal Storms' Thoughtful Thursday,  Kelly Balarie's #RaRaLinkUp, Holly Barrett's Testimony Tuesday, Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart, and Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday. I also link up often with Jennifer Dukes Lee and Dawn at Journeys in Grace, as well as with Lori Schumaker.

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Finding Hidden Treasures (aka Arthritis in your Armpits!)

“I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.” – Isaiah 45:3

A few years ago, while on a camping trip with my daughter, I learned a new game called geocaching. Similar to a scavenger hunt, you use a global positioning system (GPS) to find a hidden “cache” of treasure. The difference between the two games, however, is that with geocaching, you don’t know exactly what you’re looking for. All you know is that it will be in a container of some kind, and that it will be located at certain coordinates on the GPS. The treasure itself is a surprise.

I have noticed, in my journey with God, that life can sometimes be like geocaching. We are looking for something – our purpose, a new direction, or perhaps a specific answer to prayer – but we aren’t sure exactly what we will find.

At the Crossroads: Go This Way!

“Your ears will hear sweet words behind you: ‘Go this way. There is your path; this is how you should go’ whenever you must decide whether to turn to the right or the left.” – Isaiah 30:21 (VOICE)

It was a rough night. I tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable. My head was aching and my heart was pounding, as the thoughts continued to whirl around in my mind. “Give me peace, Lord,” I prayed, but peace wasn’t to come. Deep inside me, a battle was raging. A battle between truth and deception. A struggle to discern what was right, and ultimately, which way to go.

Crossroads in life are rarely comfortable. I’m not talking about the easy, yes-no decisions we make every day. I’m talking about the hard ones. The ones that come with a cost, especially if you make a mistake. The ones that can be gut wrenching and keep you up at night.

There I was, at a crossroads, again.

I don’t like these places. They scare me. I want the facts to be clear, the decision cut and dried, the answer to be easy. But that’s rarely the case, is it?

So often, those crossroads moments sneak up on us. A sideways glance. A nagging feeling here and there. A piece of evidence that doesn’t add up.

Pretty soon, though, those little pieces of evidence start to pile up in front of us. Like a jigsaw puzzle coming together, we start to see a bigger picture.

The problem is when the picture we are seeing now isn’t the picture we saw before.

Did the puzzle pieces come from the same box? Did I get it wrong from the start? Or did I jump into an unfinished canvas, and the artist changed course midstream? 

“Give me wisdom,” I prayed.

I knew God would answer that prayer. 

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” – James 1:15

As the sun arose over my sleepless night, I got up, determined to validate what I knew in my heart. I searched for knowledge and found it readily. I prayed for discernment and was able to sift fact from fiction. I prayed for wisdom, and found confirmation and validation for all I had been seeing and hearing and feeling for weeks, months, and possibly years.

But the crossroads was still there in front of me.

What do we do with knowledge and wisdom, once we have it in hand? How do we know which way to go?

One of the truths I was reminded of recently was that prayer was never designed to be a speech, but rather a conversation. Yes, it’s a time to share our hearts with the Lord. But it’s also a time to listen.

The prophets knew what it was to be at a crossroads, to be facing big challenges that required big decisions. At one of those crossroads, the prophet Elijah discovered something remarkable. 

As he stood on a mountaintop, weighted down with despair and trying to decide whether to live or die, hide or fight for his faith, he waited for the Lord. Scripture says that when the Lord passed by, there was a raging wind, a powerful earthquake and a blazing fire.

After Moses encountered God in the burning bush, Elijah probably expected to find Him there in one of those big, obvious signs, just as we want Him (and His answers) to appear to us in neon lights. There would be no mistaking it, then! And yet, the Bible says Elijah did not find Him there.

After the wind, after the earthquake, after the fire … came a still, small voice. Elijah was still. He was listening. And he heard it. The voice of God. Telling him what he needed to hear: which way to go.

Two hundred years later, God told Isaiah to remind the people of this truth.

“Your ears will hear sweet words behind you: ‘Go this way. There is your path; this is how you should go’ whenever you must decide whether to turn to the right or the left.” – Isaiah 30:21

He reminds us to listen for His voice.

His voice, the passage says, lines up with His commandments. We can find His still, small voice through scripture.

His voice was heard through the mouths of the prophets. We can find His still, small voice through the wise counsel of biblically grounded Christians.

His voice was heard in the quiet. We can find His still, small voice through prayer.

His voice is sweet. We can recognize it by the love it conveys and the peace it brings to our hearts.

Today, my path is clear. I am no longer at a crossroads. I have heard the voice of the Lord saying “Go this way!” and I am traveling in that direction. I don’t have all the answers, and don’t know the final destination on this particular avenue of my life. But I know I am going the right way. All the signs point in that direction. And I have peace, knowing the Lord is behind me, charting my path, whispering “go!”


What big decisions are you facing? Have you prayed for wisdom and discernment? Have you sought out God’s still, small voice? Where is He calling you to go today?

At the Crossroads: Go This Way! originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. 

Many of Spring Sight's posts can also be found each week on Crystal Storms' #IntentionalTuesday,  Kelly Balarie's #RaRaLinkUp, Holly Barrett's Testimony Tuesday, Arabah Joy's Grace & Truth, Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart,  and Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday. This week, I am also linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee and Dawn at Journeys in Grace.

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Praying Through the Fear

“Cast all your anxieties upon him, for he cares about you.” – I Peter 5:7 (RSV) 

It was a first for me. I was not one of those people with “dentist phobia.” Growing up, our family dentist was also our family friend. I had my teeth filled with only a minimal amount of anesthetic. I was awake for oral surgery and watched the procedure with fascination. No, going to the dentist never scared me. Until yesterday.

A bad experience and fear of the unknown can be a powerful cocktail, and I was drinking it up. I felt woozy from all of the thoughts swimming around my head. My mind wandered back to the last major dental work I had, a disastrous event that resulted in gum ulcers, an infection and a complete redo on the crown itself. What if I have to go through another awful experience? With TWO teeth needing crowns today, will it be even worse?

I had also been reading about dental work and rheumatoid arthritis (RA), a diagnosis I didn’t have the last time I had a crown, and I was seriously questioning my decision to have the procedure without talking to my doctor first. I’m already experiencing an RA flare – should I prepare for even more pain? I didn’t think about being on an immune suppressant drug. Should I have asked for antibiotics?

With my anxiety increasing as the appointment time grew closer, I wondered if my blood pressure would shoot up and knew that heart palpitations would follow if I didn’t calm down.

I groaned when my name was called and reluctantly sat down in the chair, hastily expressing my concerns to the dental assistant. As she left the room to go check the X-rays and get the dentist, I did something I’ve never done before in a dental office. I folded my hands, bowed my head, and prayed.

Lord, help me trust. Help me trust in the dentist and help me trust in You. Calm my heart, Lord, and give me peace. Take my fear, Lord. Give me the confidence I need to know it will be OK. Guide the dentist and help me feel Your love. Please, Lord, just help me trust.

Gone were the palpitations. Gone was the anxiety. I closed my eyes and pictured Jesus in my mind, His kind eyes and loving smile beckoning me to trust. It will be OK.

An hour later, with the left side of my mouth numb and two temporary crowns on my lower back molars, I was on my way home.

I reflected on that hour in the dentist’s chair. With one invisible touch from the Master’s hand, my fear had simply melted away. With my focus on Him, all I could feel was love and peace and joy. The sound of the drill was just background noise, the occasional twinge just a minor interruption. Before I knew it, the procedure was over.

The dentist had said at the end, “You were great!” But I knew different. I was not great. No, not at all. If he had seen me beforehand, he would have known that. God was great. Jesus carried me through.

How many times in my life has Jesus had to carry me through circumstances I couldn’t manage on my own? Situations that had me confused and bewildered, in fear and doubt and uncertainty? So many, I can’t count. But here’s what I’ve realized: While Jesus has carried me through many difficult situations, He is often carrying me kicking and screaming!

So many times, I have worked myself up into such a tizzy of emotion that I may be saying “God help me!” under my breath, but I am still fighting my circumstances with every ounce of energy I have. Jesus is trying to rescue me out of the burning building, while I am still trying to put out the fire myself!

That hour at the dentist showed me that when I really and truly let go and let God, my circumstances immediately get easier. I still had to have the two crowns put on my teeth. The dental work didn’t just go away. But it proved that the words of one of my most beloved hymns are true:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

Every day I have a choice. Will I keep my eyes on my circumstances and allow fear to rule my life, or will I keep my focus on Jesus and allow peace to reign in my heart?

In Isaiah 41:10, God implores us to trust. He is with us. We do not need to be worried or anxious about anything. “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.”

What we need is not a change of circumstance. What we need most is communion with Him.

And in case we still doubt, He assures us, “I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

Regardless of our past experiences, our current situation or our fear of the future unknown, God wants us to know He is there. He will not let us go. He is worthy of our trust.

Do not worry about anything; instead PRAY about everything. Tell God your needs, and don’t forget to thank Him for His answers. (Philippians 4:6)

Praying Through the Fear originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. 

Many of Spring Sight's posts can also be found each week on Crystal Storms' #IntentionalTuesday,  Kelly Balarie's #RaRaLinkUp, Holly Barrett's Testimony Tuesday, Arabah Joy's Grace & Truth, Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart,  and Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday. This week, I am also linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee and Dawn at Journeys in Grace.

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When Tears Begin to Flow

"Jesus wept." - John 11:35

Mothers know what tears are for.

“Whaaaaaa!!!”

That very first cry, in the moments just after a child has been born, says it all.

He’s been pushed out of his comfort zone, out from where it was warm and safe, into an environment he doesn’t recognize. As his lungs fill with air for the very first time, his eyes open to a bright new world, and his body shivers from the cold he’s never felt before. He has struggled to get here, and yet now … now, he’s not sure why.

“Whaaaaaa!!!”

His cry rings out to signal his distress. His fear. His confusion.

Moments later, he finds loving arms to hold him.

“There, there, it’s OK.” 

The words sound soothing. The arms feel secure.

It is OK. Love is here.

Mothers know that tears don’t always mean sadness.

Sometimes they’re from joy.

Sometimes they’re from pain.

Sometimes, they are from just being so tired, so overwhelmed, that you just feel you can’t go on. Or maybe you can go on, but you just need to rest. You need to vent. You need to grieve. Or you just need to breathe…

Tears say “I need.”

From the moment we are born, we need.

We need food. We need clothing and shelter. We need comfort and care when we are hurt.

Above all, we need love.

I was reading another blogger’s post today, in which she shared about the pain and medical procedures she was having to endure as a result of her rheumatoid arthritis (RA) and a rare bone disease. She wrote about an encounter she had with a nurse who asked how she was doing.

"The tears had begun to flow and we just sat there in silence. She understood."

My friend had reached a moment at the hospital where she just couldn’t express what she was feeling in words anymore. She needed to cry. She needed to express the pain, the fear, the grief … all of it. And she needed love and understanding. But there were no words to express all the need that was bottled up inside her. And so, she wept.

As a Christian, it’s easy to talk about “the joy of the Lord” and expect to feel the “peace that passes understanding” even during hard times. And make no mistake, I do my part to try and stay in that joy and peace. I pray. I study my Bible. I meditate on God’s promises. I worship. I fellowship with other believers. All of that helps.

But sometimes…

The tears fall.

A few weeks ago, my mother went into the hospital with pneumonia and within a few days, was put on life support as a last-ditch attempt to save her life.

When they put her on the ventilator, I wept tears filled with sorrow.

When they told me they had removed the breathing tube and she was able to breathe on her own again, I wept tears of joy.

Next week, she will undergo major surgery for a different problem. It is high risk because of her underlying medical conditions.  I know that and so does she. When I wish her well, as they take her off to the operating room, I already know that - no matter how strong my faith - all the love I feel for my mother, the joyful memories of the happy times we have spent together, the hopes and dreams for all I still want to share with her, and the fear of losing her, will well up inside me ... Once again, I will weep.

I am not ashamed of my tears.

Even Jesus wept. He wept when He saw his friend Lazarus, dead. He wept when his other friend, Judas, betrayed Him. He wept when He saw what was to come on the cross. It didn’t matter that He knew the ultimate ending, His glorious resurrection.

When life – and the prospect of death – was overwhelming, Jesus wept. 

Jesus isn’t a weakling. He is strong enough to conquer temptation, sin and death! And yet, here on earth, dressed in mortal flesh, even Jesus needed a good cry sometimes.

When His flesh cried out, “I hurt!” Jesus needed to let out His human emotions and pain, in order to let in the love of the Father and the power of the Holy Spirit.

Jesus’ tears meant the same as ours. His tears said, “I need…” 

Just as Jesus needed the love of the Father and the power of the Holy Spirit to give Him the strength to overcome what He faced - to take him from suffering and death to life again – so we need God to carry us through our trials and our tears.

On any given day, my tears may mean many things. When I’ve been pushed out of my comfort zone, in unfamiliar territory, and I’m scared. I’m confused. I’m overjoyed with happiness. I’m overcome with grief. I’m hungry, angry, lonely or tired. I’m stressed and overwhelmed. When I need comfort, I need shelter, I need rest.

In the end, when I let it all out – when the tears fall from my eyes with an outpouring of unspoken emotion – I will let in the Holy Spirit and find strength again. Whatever I’m going through won’t last forever. This too shall pass. I will fall into God’s loving arms and feel His warm embrace, as He helps me to my feet again.

There, there, it’s OK. Love is here.

When Tears Begin to Flow originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. 

Many of Spring Sight's posts can also be found each week on Crystal Storms' #IntentionalTuesday,  Kelly Balarie's #RaRaLinkUp, Holly Barrett's Testimony Tuesday, Arabah Joy's Grace & Truth, Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart,  and Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday. This week, I am also linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee. 

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Finding Shelter - God as My Refuge

"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.'"
- Psalm 91:1-2

It's happened two out of the last three years. Our fall getaway - a special tradition established at the very beginning of our relationship, designed to be a time to relax physically and reconnect emotionally - has been marred by pain.

Today, as we get ready to head to the little country cabin hideaway we picked out for this year's trip, I wonder ... will it happen again?

I'm trying to stay positive. The last few times, we had lots of extraneous events and stress leading up to the weekend, something I used as a reasonable explanation for my outrageous headaches, facial pain, and malaise. This year, we built in a buffer. My deadlines and parenting stress ended yesterday, and we're not leaving for a few hours. Yay! Relaxation mode is beginning to kick in.

Nevertheless, the fact remains that I've been in a roller coaster of RA flares for the past couple of months. Migraines. Neck pain. Sore hands and feet. A swollen knee. And of course, the never ending battle of fatigue.

Today, I was lucky. My headache dissipated on its own.

When I wake up tomorrow in that little cabin, will I cheerfully greet the day with a smile and be able to enjoy going out on the covered porch to take in all the beauty of the fall leaves and mist rising up from the lake? Or will I be desperately pressing my fingers into my temples and the back of my neck, as I lay in the dark, covers over my head, praying for relief to come before my head explodes into full-blown migraine mode?

I'm hoping for the first scenario, but prepared for the second. Armed with healthy foods, a small stock of pain meds, and a positive attitude, I know one thing for sure: something good will come out of this!

Last year, I spent most of my time in the cabin. But the time I spent out in my kayak ... those few, precious moments of soaking in God's creation and enjoying time with my "bestie" ... were the best moments of the year. It was then I realized that with chronic illness, there is no permanent reprieve. There is no set schedule. There is no assurance of things to come.

What there is assurance of, however, is that God is there in the midst of it all. What is a "shelter" but something to shield us from the storms of life? What is a "refuge" but a place to go when trouble is near? What is the value of "rest" if not for our tired, weary bodies and souls?

Whether I'm working through my daily life challenges or on "vacation," I have a choice: I can struggle, or I can rest. I can fight, or I can find refuge.

Instead of asking myself "Will this year be different?" I am choosing to ask "What will I do differently this year?"

Today, I am choosing serenity: to change the things I can and accept the things I cannot. I cannot predict what will be. But I can choose with Whom I will walk on the journey. And that One is my rest, my refuge, no matter what the days ahead hold.

Are you taking shelter in the shadow of the Most High God? Are you allowing Him to give you rest and refuge, even in the midst of pain? Remember, He will never leave you. Just take hold of His hand.

Finding Shelter - God as My Refuge originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. 

Many of Spring Sight's posts can also be found each week on Crystal Storms' #IntentionalTuesday,  Kelly Balarie's #RaRaLinkUp,, Holly Barrett's Testimony Tuesday, Arabah Joy's Grace & Truth and Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday.

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The Gift of Suffering

“There’s far more to this life than trusting in Christ. There’s also suffering for him. And the suffering is as much a gift as the trusting.” – Philippians 1:29 (MSG)

You can’t write a blog for people with chronic illnesses without talking about suffering. For some, it’s an everyday thing. For others, like me, it’s every now and then. Most days, I hardly think about having rheumatoid arthritis (RA). Life is good, now that I have a good treatment plan, and I’m relatively pain-free. But it’s not difficult to remember a time when that wasn’t the case.

When my disease was in full-swing, there wasn’t a day that went by when I didn’t wake up hurting. I couldn’t figure out why I was so fatigued all the time (was I lazy?) and why my fingers were too swollen to remove my wedding ring (was I getting fat?). And why did my feet hurt every time I stood up? Filled with self-doubt and unanswered questions (was I just getting old?), my life was beginning to feel like a train wreck.

I was suffering … and my family, feeling a little abandoned and frustrated with my “excuses” for not being able to do more, was suffering right alongside me.

I’ll tell you the truth. I’m glad those days are over and I have no desire to revisit them. Suffering is no fun. For anyone.

You can imagine my surprise, then, when I opened my Bible the other day and ran across this verse: “And the suffering is as much a gift as the trusting.”

Say whaaat??

Clearly, Paul, the writer of Philippians must have been mistaken. How can anyone think of suffering as a gift? Surely, suffering is not God’s will for us, right? Wrong. Maybe suffering is our own fault, and it will go away as soon as we turn back to God. Nope. Oh, OK, then perhaps God only allows us to suffer temporarily, so He can then show His healing power. Well, sometimes yes, sometimes no.

The Bible says that suffering, not just the release from it, is a gift from God.

How in the world could this be true? I dug deeper. What I found was a God who cares deeply about our suffering (Exodus 3:7) and hears our cries for help. And while sometimes He does rescue us, He more often delivers us in our suffering and speaks to us in our affliction (Job 36:15).

His purpose for allowing suffering is not to harm us, but to draw us closer to Him.

In good times, we are often too busy for God. But when we are hurting, we turn to Him. We mature in our faith, take joy and comfort in His presence, and find strength through Him that we can then share with others. In the midst of pain, we find His peace.

Are you suffering today? Accept this gift. May you hear your Father’s voice of love and comfort, and experience His presence and peace. Cry out to Him. He is listening. What you are going through, He may allow, but He will never leave you.

An excerpt from The Gift of Suffering by Linda W. Perkins originally appeared on Purposeful Faith. Get even more encouragement on Spring Sight and by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.

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Learning to Love My Mornings

“The Lord’s love never ends. His mercies never stop. They are new every morning.” – Lamentations 3:22-23 (ICB)

Note to reader: This is the first of a week-long series of posts related specifically to life with rheumatoid arthritis, as Spring Sight is one of the blogs featured in #RABlog Week. If you have RA and are new to this site, please know that it is spiritually oriented, from a Christian perspective, and here for your encouragement. If you do not have RA, this is a great week to learn more about what it’s like to live with the disease. I hope you will keep coming back! You can also follow me on Facebook or Twitter.

The truth is, I never was a morning person. I found out the hard way, when I went to college. Before that, I was your average kid, forced into a schedule engineered by parents and school administrators. Of course I didn’t stay up late! My parents were strict about bedtimes – the earlier, the better. And when the school bus picks you up at 7 a.m., well, you don’t have much choice. You get up!

So when I got the dorm application that asked “Are you a morning or a night person?” I had to think hard. Hmmm … I knew there were a number of times I would beg my parents to let me go to bed and get up early to finish the dishes, do homework, or whatever else I was too tired to do after a long day. So I assumed I was a morning person.

Unfortunately, for me and my first college roommate, I assumed wrong. Put a real morning person with a natural night owl in one teeny tiny dorm room, and you learn quickly why universities ask that question.

“Turn off that d--- music!” my roommate would growl, each time I dared to turn on the stereo past 9 p.m. I thought it was playing very softly, but nothing was soft enough for her.

The tables would turn the next morning. I glared at the woman whose alarm clock had interrupted my slumber at 5 a.m. and had already turned on the TV, watching some talk show as she sipped Dr. Pepper, her morning beverage of choice. How the heck can anyone be fully awake at this time of day?? I thought.

Little did I know that many years later, I would find out exactly what it was to be fully awake at 5 a.m. It wasn’t out of desire, however. It was due to RA.

The very first thing I ever knew about rheumatoid arthritis was its effect on mornings. I had begun to see less and less of a good friend, and had inquired of her husband as to where she had been. “Oh, didn’t you know? She was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. It’s been really hard on her. It can take her two hours just to get out of bed in the morning,” he said.

Wow. Two hours to get out of bed? I couldn’t imagine. While not a super-late night owl, due to the reality of having a job and a child to send to school, I was the kind of woman who would do whatever it took to not get up any earlier than necessary. I always asked the hairdresser for the “minimal maintenance” style and had learned to put on makeup at the speed of light. Within just 30 minutes, I could be up, showered and dressed, with a quick bowl of cereal in my stomach and a cup of coffee in my to-go mug, ready to head out the door. The thought of having to get up two hours earlier to get ready was just unfathomable to me. Way, way too painful to think about. My poor friend.

I had no idea that I too would be learning to adjust to an “extended morning routine” due to my own diagnosis of RA, just a few years later.

When I first developed rheumatoid arthritis, I didn’t choose to wake up at 4 or 5 a.m. The disease itself woke me up. A deeply intense, dull ache permeated my hands each time I tried to open or close them, whether as an involuntary response to a dream or as I tried to pull up my bed covers. I didn’t know what was wrong with them. They just hurt. Bad. I couldn’t go back to sleep. Not like this. But when I got up, my feet hurt too, just to stand on the hardwood floor. So I laid in bed, tears running down my cheeks as I tried to rub the pain away.

Eventually, I would hobble across to the bathroom and down to the kitchen, where I sought comfort from my coffee pot and sat, now wide awake, at my breakfast room table. What now? I thought. What can I do of any value at this time of the morning, without waking up anyone else in the house?

With limited energy – I was fully awake but still tired – and still aching in my joints, I wasn’t ready to hit the ground running but felt restless and frustrated. I can’t just sit here! I thought. And then I looked across the room, and saw it: the book I had been saying I would read every day, if only I could find the time. Well, now I had the time, and I was full out of excuses. The Word of God – the Bible – called to me, like a friend wanting to share her intimate secrets. She was there. Would I accept her invitation?

It’s been almost two years since I began waking up early due to RA. Back then, it was disease that woke me up. Today, it’s desire. Desire to spend time with the One who loves me most. Desire to spend time in His Word. For I have found that the Scriptures are true: His mercies are new every morning. It is that time that gives me strength for today, hope for better tomorrows, and joy for the journey. I have learned to take the time I need for my hands and feet – and today, my knees and shoulders too – to “wake up” and feel better, and use it to my advantage. There is something about healing the soul that does something for the body too.

I will never be a morning person, as long as there are late nights to enjoy. But today, whatever time my mornings begin, I no longer look at them with dread. Yes, depending on the day, there may be pain. But there is also joy, and on that I can depend, for I know the One who will bring it and He never fails to deliver. It comes wrapped in a nice little package, like a gift I get to open every day, with a tag that reads Love. 

If you have RA, how do you handle your pain in the morning? Do you rely on warm heating pads or cool towels to soothe your joints? Where do you go to soothe your soul? 

Learning to Love My Mornings originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. It is one of a series of posts specifically about Rheumatoid Arthritis, as part of #RABlog Week. 

Subscribe to Spring Sight by Email Your privacy is very important. Your email address will not be shared with any 3rd parties. 

Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. Many of Spring Sight's posts can also be found each week on #EncourageMeLinkup,  #IntentionalTuesday,  #RaRaLinkUp, and  Testimony Tuesday.

Healer of My Soul

“Heal me, LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.” – Jeremiah 17:14 (NIV)

It’s a beautiful day outside. The sunshine is filtering through my window, brightening up my breakfast room with its soft light; and if I open the kitchen door, I can feel a cool breeze dancing across my cheeks.

After a long, hot summer when even the well-watered plants on my back porch wilted under what seemed like never-ending scorching heat, I’m ready for days like this.

Well, kind of. Sorta. Ok, I’m ready for weather like this, but not days like this. Why? Because on this glorious sunshiny day, I’m stuck inside, on the couch, nestled up to a box of tissues, sucking on throat lozenges … sick.

Unlike some illnesses that come on suddenly, like a bomb has just dropped, I got fair warning on this one. It’s one of the mixed blessings and curses of having RA. The moment my immune system notices even the smallest change, it kicks into overdrive, draining me of all energy and delivering a not-so-nice package of “malaise” onto my body’s proverbial doorstep. So while my upper respiratory infection didn’t fully express itself until Saturday, I was well into feeling cruddy at least a day or two before. So when I go to the doctor today, I will be able to say in all truthfulness, that I have been “sick” for about five days now.

The problem with upper respiratory infections – aka “colds” – is that there really is no “cure” for them. Throat lozenges, decongestants, antihistamines and cough syrup are great for symptom relief, but that’s about it.

My outer symptoms may go away, but the disease will still be lurking under the surface. 

Even antibiotics, while curing subsequent bacterial infections, are useless against the original virus that caused the illness to begin with. It just has to run its course. So today, even though a very competent doctor will examine me and will no doubt make me feel better with the medicines she prescribes, she will not be able to actually heal me.

I find it interesting that in the Bible, when Jeremiah is crying out to the Lord, he says, “Oh Lord, if you heal me, I will truly be healed…” (Jer. 17:14a NLT). The same verse in another translation reads, “You alone can heal me…” Clearly, Jeremiah knows something we often forget: Complete healing comes only from the Lord.

Medicine may or may not heal our bodies, but we are never truly healed until God has healed our souls.

Having an incurable illness – whether it’s as minor as a cold or as serious as an autoimmune disease like RA – can be both miserable and frustrating. No one likes to be told there’s no way to be made completely well.

But just because there’s no cure doesn’t mean there’s no hope.

Just like I know that the bad cold I’m suffering from right now won’t last forever, the Bible is clear that one day, God will wipe all tears from our eyes and there will be no more death, suffering, crying, or pain. (Revelation 21:4 CEV) We have that as our promise, when we turn our lives over to Him.

Better yet, when we go to God, we know we can find comfort that transcends our bodily pain. Philippians 4:6-7 says when we stop worrying, and start praying, telling God our needs and trusting Him for His answers, then we will receive the peace that passes all understanding. And we do not need to wait until some undefined time in the future to receive it. It is available to us today.

Even in the midst of physical pain or discomfort, we can find healing for our souls. And then, only then, will we find the ability to praise Him in all circumstances.

It is a beautiful day outside. The sunshine is filtering through my window, brightening up my breakfast room with its soft light; and even while sitting on my couch, nestled up to my box of tissues, I can feel the soft touch of the Holy Spirit dancing across my heart, filling me with peace and joy. My body may be sick, but it is well with my soul.

How do you feel today? Is your body sick or well? How is your soul? May you find true healing in the Lord.

Click here to listen to John Michael Talbot’s song “Healer of My Soul.” 

Healer of My Soul originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more and to get posts delivered to you via email. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. 

Subscribe to Spring Sight by Email Your privacy is very important. Your email address will not be shared with any 3rd parties. 

Please visit me and other Christian bloggers Grace Esedeke on #EncourageMeLinkup, Crystal Storms on #IntentionalTuesday, Kelly Balarie on #RaRaLinkUp, and Holly Barrett on Testimony Tuesday.

Also make sure to come back to Spring Sight next week for a series of blogs about Rheumatoid Arthritis, as I join other RA bloggers in the first annual #RABlog Week.

You're Not Alone: Five Ways Out of Loneliness

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” - Genesis 2:18

Everyone gets lonely sometimes. Some of us are better at it than others. When life gets stressful, I can find a million and one reasons for being lonely, and I bet you can too.

In my previous marriage to someone prone to workaholism, I frequently felt lonely as I waited indefinitely for him to get off the phone or the computer. After our divorce, when I was simultaneously crushed with grief, struggling as a single parent, and no longer a part of my married-couple social circle, I felt a new level of loneliness. Then illness came, with its various flavors of isolating effects. From not being able to drive at times, to not being physically able to participate in planned activities, it has driven me even further away from the vibrant social life I used to know.

In some ways, I have come to appreciate my slower lifestyle, as it gives me more time for introspection and contemplation. This blog would never have come to be without a lifestyle change. I just would have been too busy! And don’t get me wrong, I’m still a fairly busy person and my day-to-day responsibilities are hardly drudgery. I enjoy my work and the time I spend caring for my daughter, husband and other family members. I also take time for my church, which I wouldn’t trade for anything. But even in the midst of this, I sometimes get that longing for something…more. It’s a feeling of being disconnected, which seems strange in an era when we are SO “connected” via cell phones, email and social media. Yet, there it is. When I’m home alone and the phone doesn’t ring, I check my email and it’s all business, or the holiday passes and I didn’t get invited to the party…I start feeling a little lonely inside.

I suspect I am not alone in my loneliness. Yes, I bet you feel that way too. The good news is that neither of us have to stay that way. I’ve now experienced loneliness enough in my life to know how to effectively deal with it. Here is what I have found to be five ways out of it.

1. Give a smile and get one back. It seems simple, doesn’t it? Yes, it is! Really and truly, one of the best ways I have found to get myself out of a “funk” is to be as friendly as possible to those around me, especially with people who expect it least. Long line at the store, with frustrated customers and a frazzled checkout clerk? Smile and wish everyone a great day, and you’ll be amazed to see what happens. As the tension lifts and you get smiles of appreciation back, you’ll start to feel better too! Suddenly, the world will feel like a happier place. And it all started with you.

2. Get on – or off – social media. This is a tough one, but I know you can do it! I didn’t spend much time on Facebook until I found myself both working from home and unable to drive (for medical reasons) for six months. Talk about isolating! Facebook became my hero, my vehicle for staying connected to the rest of the world. Online communication has done wonders for many others with physical disabilities as well. Sometimes I check Facebook to see what’s going on in friends’ lives so I can ask them about it when we talk, and to enjoy their vacation pics. But there’s another side to social media that can actually make you feel worse, especially if you’re prone to envy. When everyone else is having a good time and you’re stuck at home, does seeing the posts bring you up or down? Do you feel happy to simply be a part of their life by observing it, or does it make you feel left out? Take an honest look at social media and how it makes you feel. It may be time to use it for greater connection, or it may be time to give it a break. Which leads me to my next point…

3. Pick up the 1,000-pound telephone. OK, so this is my number one weakness. It sounds so easy, doesn’t it? If you’re lonely, call someone! And yet, in the midst of deadlines and other responsibilities, this is one area of my self-care that I tend to neglect. Perhaps it’s fear of rejection. Maybe it’s that I have been stuck at home ill and don’t have great stories to share, so I figure I have nothing to contribute to the conversation other than “woe is me.” Whatever the reason for your hesitation, mustering up the courage to pick up the phone is one of the best ways of tackling your isolation. Take the focus off your insecurities by asking your friend how they are doing. Then end it with an invitation for a next step – whether it’s another call sometime, coffee or lunch. You may feel alone before the call, but it’s a good chance you won’t afterwards.

4. Become a part of something bigger. Usually, when I am feeling the loneliest, it is because I am focused on ME. My wants, my needs, my desires. What is the best cure? Focusing on something bigger than me. Psychologists have found a need for belonging is one of man’s greatest needs. So it’s no wonder we feel lonely when we set ourselves up to be all alone. Community is important, and teaming up with others for a good cause is a great way to get it. Get involved with your church or a non-profit and spend time helping others. If you can’t do it in person, do it online, even if it means just chiming in with some positive support for people who are struggling with similar health or life issues. You’ll feel connected, less lonely, and good about being able to help those less fortunate than you.

5. Make time for the One who loves you most. This may be last on my list here, but it’s my personal first go-to when I’m feeling lonely. The fact is, we can’t ease the deepest sense of our longings and heal our loneliness ourselves, or even with other people. You see, there is a God-shaped hole in our hearts that can only be filled with Him. Believe me, I have tried filling that hole with everything else, and it just doesn’t work. The Bible is full of reassurances that God loves me, and reading those can often help me realize that I am never really alone in this world. I can also feel Him in my spirit when I am in prayer, or out in nature, seeing all the beauty He has created. But while God says He will never leave me (Deut. 31:6), I have to make time to recognize Him and to embrace the great love He offers. It is only then that I can find true inner peace and fulfillment.

God does not want you to feel lonely, my friend. In Genesis, God said of the first human being, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will give him a helper,” and created woman. That is why we were given the gift of marriage and of community with others. We are in this together. With Him. You may feel lonely sometimes, but you are never alone.

When do you feel the loneliest? Which of these five ways out of loneliness have you tried, and which have worked the best for you? When you feel lonely, God is there! Cry out to Him and let Him show you how to feel less alone.

You're Not Alone: Five Ways Out of Loneliness originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins.  Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.

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