Rest for the Weary

 "Come to me, all you who are weary, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28

I planned to write this post at the end of 2020. It was a long year, wasn't it? We thought it couldn't get worse. Yet, here we are in 2021 and there are still major upheavals in our lives due to the COVID-19 pandemic. In the United States, we have a new president and while some are happy about that, some are clearly not, as evidenced by the violent storming of the Capitol by extremists on January 6 and the subsequent impeachment of Donald Trump. Sigh. Drama, drama, drama. Whichever side you're on, the daily news is pretty exhausting most of the time. Add in a dose of chronic illness (with the fear of getting even sicker thanks to the coronavirus) and it can be pretty overwhelming, right?

If it's any consolation, life back in Jesus' time was no less complicated. Throughout the Bible, you find stories of ordinary people caught up in extraordinary circumstances. Famines and plagues were not uncommon. God's people traveled from land to land, sometimes being enslaved or persecuted, while at other times finding themselves wandering around in the desert due to their own disobedience. Jesus' family had to flee the country to protect Him from being executed while He was just a baby, and then He became highly unpopular with the Pharisees, from the start of His ministry all the way through to His crucifixion. Jesus knew that life could be stressful, not just some of the time, but a LOT of the time.

Jesus' invitation to rest in Him when we are weary reflects the prayer of King David in Psalm 23. Verses 1-4 from the New Living Bible say:

The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
Even when I walk through the darkest valley
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.

Do you see here what resting in the Lord means? We not have all we want, but in Him, we have all we need. Like a shepherd tending his flock, Jesus lets us rest when we are weary, while He keeps watch over us. He leads us beside peaceful streams, giving us living water for our parched and thirsty souls. He renews our strength when we feel like we can't go on. He guides us along right paths, giving us discernment and wisdom, direction and purpose, when we aren't sure which way to go. Even when we are in the darkest times of our lives, we need not be afraid, for we know He is close by, there to protect and comfort us.

No matter what you may be facing in 2021, you are not alone. God is with us in Emmanuel. He will walk with you, guide you and protect you, allowing you to rest in His presence while regaining the strength you need to continue on your journey. Do not be dismayed. Do not be discouraged. Do not be afraid. Instead, take courage from the power of His might. And when you are weary, go to Jesus. He will give you rest.

Peace, love and joy to you today.

Linda

Rest for the Weary originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook. 

Healing from Within: Turning Away from Toxicity

"Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things." - Colossians 3:2

What if I were to tell you that there is a way to start healing your body immediately, without any drugs or special diets? Would you try it?

There isn’t anyone I know, especially within the chronic illness community, who wouldn't say yes. We are all longing for something to make us feel better.

The burden of chronic illness is not apparent to those outside of our world. We may look fine on the outside, and may even be able to perform our daily activities as if we were not ill. But those of us who have lived with illness day after day, year after year, know the burdens we carry. They are not light. There is a heaviness in our hearts, knowing that we will never get well.

As our symptoms come and go, and the bottles of medicines stack up on our nightstands, we are reminded that we are not like other people. We hesitate to make plans in advance, for we don’t know how we will feel that day. We cancel lunches with friends we love because they’ve come down with a bad cold, and if we catch it, that may take us down a path we can’t recover from.

We watch what we eat, we do the exercises that are prescribed, we get stuck with needles on a regular basis, and we go to countless doctor visits. Sometimes it feels like all we have time for is tending to our health. It’s draining.

What I’ve recently realized, however, is that there’s something that can make us feel even worse: toxic thinking. That can take a variety of forms, from self-pity to anger at family members who just don’t “get” that you’re really sick. One particular topic that has been top-of-mind and become quite toxic for me, however, is politics. It’s something I’ve always enjoyed discussing and debating, but lately, not so much. And while you may not think it’s relevant to this blog, read on.

13 Reasons Why {Not}

"So don’t worry, because I am with you. Don’t be afraid, because I am your God. I will make you strong and will help you. I will support you with my right hand that saves you." - Isaiah 41:10

It was an ordinary Friday night. We had just gone to dinner as a family and were settling down in front of the TV, talking about what to watch.

"You should watch 13 Reasons Why, Mom," my daughter said. "It's really good!"

Curious about the show she had mentioned once before, I looked online to see if there was more information on it before making a decision. Why yes, there was. A whole lot of positive reviews for its direction and creativity, and a whole lot of talk from parents and psychologists expressing concern over the graphic content and messaging that was making suicide hotlines light up like Christmas trees.

If you don't have a tween or teen, you might not have heard of the latest show on Netflix, which is based on a novel in which a teenage girl commits suicide. The "13 reasons why" refer to 13 messages she left for individuals whose actions played a part in her decision to take her life.

I will be the first to tell you I haven't seen the show and I don't plan to. I will also say that the same night I learned about it, I took steps to adjust the parental controls on my TV and my daughter's cell phone.

There are some who think we as parents should watch the show "to understand what our teens face" in today's world. By all means, if you grew up in an untarnished, sheltered environment, perhaps this is the eye opener you need. Drinking, drugs, bullying and date rape...it's all there, graphically depicted (apparently).

But as for me, I haven't always lived in the light. I have touched that darkness - the despair, the depression, the shame, the hopelessness - and was almost swallowed up by it. I'm not going back. And I'm certainly not taking my 12-year-old back with me.

When I began writing this blog almost three years ago, it was to give people hope. Living with chronic illness is not easy. Depression is common, and suicide is not unheard of. When the pain feels like it will never end, when your life feels over, it is easy to give up. There are those who do. But I'm here to tell you - DON'T. 

I spent the first few months of this year in daily, intense pain from chronic migraines. If you have ever had a true migraine, you will know what I mean when I say it's not just a headache. At one point, during a trip to New York, I rocked back and forth on the bed, holding my head, crying and screaming, "Please help me. Somebody, help me!" Not long afterwards, I went into the bathroom and threw up, before crawling back into bed and finally passing out from the pain.

If ever there was a degree of physical pain that made me feel like giving up, it has been during episodes of severe migraine. I have literally felt like dying at times, because I thought I couldn't handle the pain even one more minute.

And yet, here I am.

Thankfully, God designed our bodies not to remember physical pain. I can tell you what happened, and generally how I felt, but I can't re-live the pain itself. Unfortunately, that isn't the case with emotional scars. Those wounds can sometimes take a lifetime to heal, and when they are reopened, they can hurt just as much as when the initial pain was inflicted.

When I am hurting physically, I may feel like dying, but when the pain goes away, life looks sunny again. It's easy to then see that "this too shall pass" because it really does. Even with chronic illness, there are moments when the pain dissipates enough to find moments of joy. It's important to look for those, because it helps you endure the rest of the time. Looking at my photos from New York, no one would ever know I had spent half the trip in pain, because the rest of the time, I was all smiles! Yes, there were a few of those pics where I was in "fake it 'til you make it" mode, but for the most part, I managed to salvage some really great moments that far outweighed the nightmare migraines I endured.

We have to be careful with emotional pain, though. I don't know who coined the phrase "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me," because that's just not true. Harsh words, coming from friends or family members, cut deep. We begin to believe what we hear, and wonder if we really are OK...or not. 

Our mistakes can hurt too. When I look back at my teen years and even into my 20's, it's easy to beat myself up over the many poor decisions I made. I may have changed my ways, but the consequences of those decisions didn't just disappear. There are so many times I have wished I could go back and have a "redo."

And sexual violence and abuse...well, that pain cut to the very core of who I was, and it took years of therapy for the flashbacks and nightmares to stop. I can still remember hands holding me down, then the hand placed over my mouth as I cried out in pain, ordered to "shut up!" because someone might hear; and the sting of my tears when it hit me that I was not a virgin anymore.

Night after night, for many years, I cried out to the Lord, "Why God, why?" I certainly could have come up with 13 good reasons to take my life. And yet, I did not. Growing up in the church, I was told suicide was the one unforgivable sin, because how can you confess killing yourself when you are already dead? I'm not sure that God in His infinite mercy wouldn't have forgiven me, but I do know that was not the only thing that kept me alive. 

The words spoken by God in Isaiah 41:10 are powerful. Don’t be afraid, because I am your God. I will make you strong and will help you. I will support you with my right hand that saves you. Every moment of every day in which I have been in either physical or emotional pain, I have had to remember them. God will help me. God is with me. God will save me.

Despite my health situation, despite my poor choices, despite whatever bad things I have believed about myself, and despite the physical and psychological trauma I have experienced, I have held on to those promises: God will help me. God is with me. God will save me.

And you know what? He has.

Jeremiah 29:11 says that God has a plan for us...a good one! The only way to find out about that plan, though, is to live it out. We have to wade through the mud, fight the battles, and allow God to cut away entanglements that hold us back, in order to reach the promised land He has for us. Sometimes it isn't easy. Sometimes, we aren't sure we are going to make it, or whether it's worth it. But it is. It always is. How do we know? Because He says so.

Back in my younger days, surrounded by darkness and not seeing much light ahead of me, I could have found 13 reasons why my life wasn't worth living. Today, looking back in hindsight, I can find 13 reasons - and more - that God wanted me to hold on for. 

If I were able to talk to my teenage self and tell her the 13 reasons why not to take her own life, here are what they would be:

1. God has a plan for you - a good one - and you will get to hold His hand through your entire journey, finding more comfort and joy, peace and love than you ever thought possible.

2. You may not realize it, but you're not alone. A lot of people look perfect on the outside, but their life is messy too. Even Jesus suffered through gossip, betrayal, pain and loss. He gets what you're going through.

3. You think if you were only "good enough" those people will like you. The truth is, some people won't like you even if you're the most wonderful person in the world. That's more about them than it is about you.

4. You think your pain is never going to end, but I promise it will. One day, you'll graduate. One day, you'll move (or they will). One day, you'll meet people who like you just the way you are. One day, your broken heart will heal. One day, you won't just notice the rain. You'll see the sunshine and notice the flowers too.

5. Your parents aren't perfect. Neither are you. Do the best you can to deal with them, the same way they are doing the best they can to deal with you. That whole parenting thing is as hard for them as it feels to you.

6. Everyone makes mistakes. Lots of them. Learn from them, but forgive yourself too. God loves you, warts and all, and the Bible is full of people who have screwed up but God used them anyway! Keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will eventually get where you need to be.

7. You may feel powerless, but God is all powerful. Give your biggest problems to Him, do the next right thing, and leave the results to Him.

8. That rape or physical abuse? No, it's not your fault and don't let anyone say otherwise. You didn't ask for it and you didn't deserve it. Stop blaming yourself and get some help instead.

9. Just because "everybody's doing it" doesn't mean you need to. There are many miserable people in the world, doing things they know aren't right. Don't become one, just to fit in. Live your values and you'll keep your confidence.

10. There isn't any problem that an alcoholic drink or drug (or act of self-harm) won't make worse. And even if you feel better momentarily, there will be a hefty price to pay the next day or even further down the road. Reach out for help instead.

11. When God feels far away, remember who's moved. He is always there for you. Don't forget to reach up.

12. Don't be a victim of "stinking thinking." Fill your mind with positive thoughts and surround yourself with positive people. You have to look beyond your problems to find the solutions.

13. Life is like a rose: it is full of petals and thorns. Yes, sometimes it's painful, but there's an awful lot of beauty there too. Count your blessings every day. A little gratitude can go a long way.

Had I not chosen to live through the pain of my early years, I hate to think what I would have missed later on: quiet sunrises, gorgeous sunsets, warm embraces, wildflowers in the spring, happy smiles and travel across the miles. Every day, there is something new to look forward to.

The world is tough and pain is real. Just don't forget whose you are, and who's got your back! God will help you. God is with you. God will save you...every time.

Peace, joy and love to you today,

Linda

13 Reasons Why {Not} originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook and Twitter. 

Many of Spring Sight's posts can also be found each week on Crystal Storms' Thoughtful Thursday,  Kelly Balarie's #RaRaLinkUp, Holly Barrett's Testimony Tuesday, Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart, and Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday. I also link up often with Jennifer Dukes Lee and Dawn at Journeys in Grace, as well as with Lori Schumaker.

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Quit Yer Bellyachin'

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." - Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

Happy New Year! Or is it?

If the Christmas season is "the happiest time of the year" then is it any wonder that after all the tinsel and glittering decorations are packed back up in the attic (except in my house, of course, where we are total slowpokes about leaving the holiday season behind), there seems to be a period of letdown?

Yes, here we are in January, and 'tis the season to work on those resolutions. Whether you're trying to lose weight or get organized, this time of the year can just feel hard.

Gone are the holiday parties. Now it's time to work off the 10 pounds you put on while noshing on all that fabulous food consumed at them. Forget the tinsel and bows around the Christmas tree. Now you're trying to find a place to put it all, as you search for those financial files underneath the rolls of wrapping paper strewn across your office.

Alone in the Wilderness

“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” – Luke 5:16

My husband passed by my office door, on the way from the living room to the bedroom. A minute later, I glanced up and saw him standing there in the doorway, casually eating a banana and staring at me.

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked, trying not to sound annoyed.

“Oh nothing. Just thought I would see what you were up to,” he said with a sweet smile.

I smiled back at him, hoping he wouldn’t notice what was really going on inside me. I wanted him to leave me alone. I needed him to leave me alone. But I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. After all, it really wasn’t about him. It was me.

That stress you’re feeling isn’t just in your head; it affects your body too.

The truth was that inside, I was feeling like a pressure cooker. It was the beginning of fall, which meant piles of paperwork and calendar items were coming home from school with my daughter on almost a daily basis. On top of it, my work life was going crazy, with deadline upon deadline. Add in my various health issues, and I was frazzled.

When Saying Yes Means Saying No

"Love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 19:19

“Come on, it will be fun!” she said. “We can drive up together!”

The invitation was tempting. I had already stepped out of my comfort zone, committing to a retreat that was still a couple of months away, all the while knowing that during this season of the year I am prone to chronic migraines. Nevertheless, I wanted to get to know a few of the women in my support group better, and it sounded like a fun way to do it.

The problem now, however, was that my new friend wanted to take it a step further. She wanted me to drive together to the retreat, almost two hours away, in one car. To many people, that – three or four women on a road trip together – would sound like a blast. But to me, it was terrifying.

How does one explain to someone what it’s like to live with the unpredictability of chronic illness? Even more so, living with multiple chronic illnesses? While some people will say “you don’t have to explain yourself,” I felt bad. I didn’t want to appear like I was rejecting my friend, or her offer. But I had been there before.

When Flood Waters Rise

“Though the rain comes in torrents, and the floods rise and the storm winds beat against his house, it won’t collapse, for it is built on rock.” – Matthew 7:25

It is day three of Houston’s Great Flood of 2016. The TV newscasts look the same. Picture upon picture, video upon video, of water. Everywhere. In the streets. In houses. In cars.

Flooding. It’s not a pretty picture.

Living on the Gulf Coast, we get used to it. We know, if we live near a bayou or creek, which roads will flood first and which will be the last to reopen. We know which highway underpasses to avoid. We also know, when we are looking for a new house, to ask whether it is in the 100-year flood plan.

We think we know it all. What to anticipate. What to watch for. Where to go and not go. Where to buy and not buy. What to do and not do.

Then it happens. The flood we never anticipated. No, not the 100-year flood event. The FIVE-hundred-year flood event. Uh, yeah, that one. THIS one.

This year, in this flood, I’m turning on the news and hearing stories I’ve never heard before. Stories that begin with, “It’s never flooded here…” coming from people who have lived in the same home for four or five decades.

After 40 or 50 years in the same place, people are being caught unaware, unprepared. They never thought it would happen to them.

So here I sit, surrounded by swollen creeks and water logged streets, pondering how similar this flooding is to life.

We never think it will happen to us, do we? That chronic illness. That job loss. That addiction. Whatever it is that we think only happens to other people.

And yet, here we are.

There is a reason Jesus shared the story of the house built on the solid rock versus the one built on sinking sand. He knows us too well.

Jesus knows that we most often go for what’s easy. What’s beautiful. That beachfront property on silky white sand, warm and wonderful to sink our toes into, just steps from the cool splashes of the ocean tide. It’s close to the action there. We can just breathe in everything around us. It’s so … mesmerizing.

We build the houses of our lives when the sun is shining and soft breezes feel refreshing on our skin. We aren’t thinking about the storms of life. Those won’t happen to us, we tell ourselves, and so we go ahead and throw our cares to the wind. We make choices based solely on the moment, instead of looking into the future and asking ourselves the all-important question, “What if?”

What if I get sick?
What if I get in a car accident?
What if I lost my job?
What if I do it once, and I can’t stop?
What if this relationship doesn’t end in marriage?
What if …?

One of my friends sells insurance, and I bet she asks people “What if …?” a hundred times a day. And I also bet she hears “That’s OK, I’ll take my chances” and “Aw, I doubt that will happen” in response more times than she can count.

But don’t we all say that, at one time or another?

Benjamin Franklin once said, “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!” Despite not knowing a single person who says they plan to fail, I know many of us have great testimonies of failures in our lives that are due to a lack of solid planning.

And yet, how many times do we encounter the truly unexpected? How do we plan for those times? Even the Bible, in Psalms 2, it says that all of our planning is sometimes for naught, because God is ultimately in control.

So, if we can’t really plan, what are we to do? The answer is simple. We prepare.

Even in the absence of evidence that we will face a hardship, preparing for one can mean the difference between damage and devastation.

Just like insurance can protect us from financial ruin, being spiritually prepared can protect us from personal ruin. If we’re smart, we won’t bank on a foundation of sand. Instead, we trust in a more solid foundation: Faith in Jesus Christ.

When I am prayed up and grounded in God’s Word, I can be fully prepared for whatever comes my way. Why? Because my Bible doesn’t leave my “if” questions unanswered.

If I lose my job, then I will not panic because I know God has a plan for me and it is good (Jeremiah 29:11). 

If I become ill, then I know that God can restore my health in this life (Psalm 41:3) or the next (2 Corinthians 5:2). 

If I suffer a financial loss, then I will not worry about going hungry because I know that God is my provider (Psalm 147:9). 

If I encounter temptation, then I can stand firm knowing that God will provide an escape from it (I Corinthians 10:13). 

If I am faced with a hard decision and need wisdom, then I can pray and know God will give it to me (James 1:5). 

If I make a mistake, then I know I can find forgiveness and I am covered by God’s grace (Ephesians 2:8-9). 

If I am rejected, then I can still hold my head high knowing that God has an even greater love for me (John 3:16). 

Even if I am facing death, then I will not need to be afraid because I know that nothing can separate me from God’s love (Romans 8:38-39).

None of us know what lies ahead. No one can “plan” for the next 500-year flooding event. From what I have seen this week, however, I bet more will be prepared.

I want to one of those prepared. Not just for floods. For life. I’m building my house on the Rock. How about you?

What events in your life have hit you unexpectedly? Were you prepared to deal with them? How can you shore up your spiritual foundation so that you’re better prepared to face any future storms that come your way?

When Flood Waters Rise originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. 

Many of Spring Sight's posts can also be found each week on Crystal Storms' #IntentionalTuesday,  Kelly Balarie's #RaRaLinkUp, Holly Barrett's Testimony Tuesday, Arabah Joy's Grace & Truth, Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart,  and Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday. This week, I am also linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee and Dawn at Journeys in Grace.

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At the Crossroads: Go This Way!

“Your ears will hear sweet words behind you: ‘Go this way. There is your path; this is how you should go’ whenever you must decide whether to turn to the right or the left.” – Isaiah 30:21 (VOICE)

It was a rough night. I tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable. My head was aching and my heart was pounding, as the thoughts continued to whirl around in my mind. “Give me peace, Lord,” I prayed, but peace wasn’t to come. Deep inside me, a battle was raging. A battle between truth and deception. A struggle to discern what was right, and ultimately, which way to go.

Crossroads in life are rarely comfortable. I’m not talking about the easy, yes-no decisions we make every day. I’m talking about the hard ones. The ones that come with a cost, especially if you make a mistake. The ones that can be gut wrenching and keep you up at night.

There I was, at a crossroads, again.

I don’t like these places. They scare me. I want the facts to be clear, the decision cut and dried, the answer to be easy. But that’s rarely the case, is it?

So often, those crossroads moments sneak up on us. A sideways glance. A nagging feeling here and there. A piece of evidence that doesn’t add up.

Pretty soon, though, those little pieces of evidence start to pile up in front of us. Like a jigsaw puzzle coming together, we start to see a bigger picture.

The problem is when the picture we are seeing now isn’t the picture we saw before.

Did the puzzle pieces come from the same box? Did I get it wrong from the start? Or did I jump into an unfinished canvas, and the artist changed course midstream? 

“Give me wisdom,” I prayed.

I knew God would answer that prayer. 

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” – James 1:15

As the sun arose over my sleepless night, I got up, determined to validate what I knew in my heart. I searched for knowledge and found it readily. I prayed for discernment and was able to sift fact from fiction. I prayed for wisdom, and found confirmation and validation for all I had been seeing and hearing and feeling for weeks, months, and possibly years.

But the crossroads was still there in front of me.

What do we do with knowledge and wisdom, once we have it in hand? How do we know which way to go?

One of the truths I was reminded of recently was that prayer was never designed to be a speech, but rather a conversation. Yes, it’s a time to share our hearts with the Lord. But it’s also a time to listen.

The prophets knew what it was to be at a crossroads, to be facing big challenges that required big decisions. At one of those crossroads, the prophet Elijah discovered something remarkable. 

As he stood on a mountaintop, weighted down with despair and trying to decide whether to live or die, hide or fight for his faith, he waited for the Lord. Scripture says that when the Lord passed by, there was a raging wind, a powerful earthquake and a blazing fire.

After Moses encountered God in the burning bush, Elijah probably expected to find Him there in one of those big, obvious signs, just as we want Him (and His answers) to appear to us in neon lights. There would be no mistaking it, then! And yet, the Bible says Elijah did not find Him there.

After the wind, after the earthquake, after the fire … came a still, small voice. Elijah was still. He was listening. And he heard it. The voice of God. Telling him what he needed to hear: which way to go.

Two hundred years later, God told Isaiah to remind the people of this truth.

“Your ears will hear sweet words behind you: ‘Go this way. There is your path; this is how you should go’ whenever you must decide whether to turn to the right or the left.” – Isaiah 30:21

He reminds us to listen for His voice.

His voice, the passage says, lines up with His commandments. We can find His still, small voice through scripture.

His voice was heard through the mouths of the prophets. We can find His still, small voice through the wise counsel of biblically grounded Christians.

His voice was heard in the quiet. We can find His still, small voice through prayer.

His voice is sweet. We can recognize it by the love it conveys and the peace it brings to our hearts.

Today, my path is clear. I am no longer at a crossroads. I have heard the voice of the Lord saying “Go this way!” and I am traveling in that direction. I don’t have all the answers, and don’t know the final destination on this particular avenue of my life. But I know I am going the right way. All the signs point in that direction. And I have peace, knowing the Lord is behind me, charting my path, whispering “go!”


What big decisions are you facing? Have you prayed for wisdom and discernment? Have you sought out God’s still, small voice? Where is He calling you to go today?

At the Crossroads: Go This Way! originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. 

Many of Spring Sight's posts can also be found each week on Crystal Storms' #IntentionalTuesday,  Kelly Balarie's #RaRaLinkUp, Holly Barrett's Testimony Tuesday, Arabah Joy's Grace & Truth, Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart,  and Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday. This week, I am also linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee and Dawn at Journeys in Grace.

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Praying Through the Fear

“Cast all your anxieties upon him, for he cares about you.” – I Peter 5:7 (RSV) 

It was a first for me. I was not one of those people with “dentist phobia.” Growing up, our family dentist was also our family friend. I had my teeth filled with only a minimal amount of anesthetic. I was awake for oral surgery and watched the procedure with fascination. No, going to the dentist never scared me. Until yesterday.

A bad experience and fear of the unknown can be a powerful cocktail, and I was drinking it up. I felt woozy from all of the thoughts swimming around my head. My mind wandered back to the last major dental work I had, a disastrous event that resulted in gum ulcers, an infection and a complete redo on the crown itself. What if I have to go through another awful experience? With TWO teeth needing crowns today, will it be even worse?

I had also been reading about dental work and rheumatoid arthritis (RA), a diagnosis I didn’t have the last time I had a crown, and I was seriously questioning my decision to have the procedure without talking to my doctor first. I’m already experiencing an RA flare – should I prepare for even more pain? I didn’t think about being on an immune suppressant drug. Should I have asked for antibiotics?

With my anxiety increasing as the appointment time grew closer, I wondered if my blood pressure would shoot up and knew that heart palpitations would follow if I didn’t calm down.

I groaned when my name was called and reluctantly sat down in the chair, hastily expressing my concerns to the dental assistant. As she left the room to go check the X-rays and get the dentist, I did something I’ve never done before in a dental office. I folded my hands, bowed my head, and prayed.

Lord, help me trust. Help me trust in the dentist and help me trust in You. Calm my heart, Lord, and give me peace. Take my fear, Lord. Give me the confidence I need to know it will be OK. Guide the dentist and help me feel Your love. Please, Lord, just help me trust.

Gone were the palpitations. Gone was the anxiety. I closed my eyes and pictured Jesus in my mind, His kind eyes and loving smile beckoning me to trust. It will be OK.

An hour later, with the left side of my mouth numb and two temporary crowns on my lower back molars, I was on my way home.

I reflected on that hour in the dentist’s chair. With one invisible touch from the Master’s hand, my fear had simply melted away. With my focus on Him, all I could feel was love and peace and joy. The sound of the drill was just background noise, the occasional twinge just a minor interruption. Before I knew it, the procedure was over.

The dentist had said at the end, “You were great!” But I knew different. I was not great. No, not at all. If he had seen me beforehand, he would have known that. God was great. Jesus carried me through.

How many times in my life has Jesus had to carry me through circumstances I couldn’t manage on my own? Situations that had me confused and bewildered, in fear and doubt and uncertainty? So many, I can’t count. But here’s what I’ve realized: While Jesus has carried me through many difficult situations, He is often carrying me kicking and screaming!

So many times, I have worked myself up into such a tizzy of emotion that I may be saying “God help me!” under my breath, but I am still fighting my circumstances with every ounce of energy I have. Jesus is trying to rescue me out of the burning building, while I am still trying to put out the fire myself!

That hour at the dentist showed me that when I really and truly let go and let God, my circumstances immediately get easier. I still had to have the two crowns put on my teeth. The dental work didn’t just go away. But it proved that the words of one of my most beloved hymns are true:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

Every day I have a choice. Will I keep my eyes on my circumstances and allow fear to rule my life, or will I keep my focus on Jesus and allow peace to reign in my heart?

In Isaiah 41:10, God implores us to trust. He is with us. We do not need to be worried or anxious about anything. “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.”

What we need is not a change of circumstance. What we need most is communion with Him.

And in case we still doubt, He assures us, “I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

Regardless of our past experiences, our current situation or our fear of the future unknown, God wants us to know He is there. He will not let us go. He is worthy of our trust.

Do not worry about anything; instead PRAY about everything. Tell God your needs, and don’t forget to thank Him for His answers. (Philippians 4:6)

Praying Through the Fear originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. 

Many of Spring Sight's posts can also be found each week on Crystal Storms' #IntentionalTuesday,  Kelly Balarie's #RaRaLinkUp, Holly Barrett's Testimony Tuesday, Arabah Joy's Grace & Truth, Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart,  and Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday. This week, I am also linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee and Dawn at Journeys in Grace.

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When Tears Begin to Flow

"Jesus wept." - John 11:35

Mothers know what tears are for.

“Whaaaaaa!!!”

That very first cry, in the moments just after a child has been born, says it all.

He’s been pushed out of his comfort zone, out from where it was warm and safe, into an environment he doesn’t recognize. As his lungs fill with air for the very first time, his eyes open to a bright new world, and his body shivers from the cold he’s never felt before. He has struggled to get here, and yet now … now, he’s not sure why.

“Whaaaaaa!!!”

His cry rings out to signal his distress. His fear. His confusion.

Moments later, he finds loving arms to hold him.

“There, there, it’s OK.” 

The words sound soothing. The arms feel secure.

It is OK. Love is here.

Mothers know that tears don’t always mean sadness.

Sometimes they’re from joy.

Sometimes they’re from pain.

Sometimes, they are from just being so tired, so overwhelmed, that you just feel you can’t go on. Or maybe you can go on, but you just need to rest. You need to vent. You need to grieve. Or you just need to breathe…

Tears say “I need.”

From the moment we are born, we need.

We need food. We need clothing and shelter. We need comfort and care when we are hurt.

Above all, we need love.

I was reading another blogger’s post today, in which she shared about the pain and medical procedures she was having to endure as a result of her rheumatoid arthritis (RA) and a rare bone disease. She wrote about an encounter she had with a nurse who asked how she was doing.

"The tears had begun to flow and we just sat there in silence. She understood."

My friend had reached a moment at the hospital where she just couldn’t express what she was feeling in words anymore. She needed to cry. She needed to express the pain, the fear, the grief … all of it. And she needed love and understanding. But there were no words to express all the need that was bottled up inside her. And so, she wept.

As a Christian, it’s easy to talk about “the joy of the Lord” and expect to feel the “peace that passes understanding” even during hard times. And make no mistake, I do my part to try and stay in that joy and peace. I pray. I study my Bible. I meditate on God’s promises. I worship. I fellowship with other believers. All of that helps.

But sometimes…

The tears fall.

A few weeks ago, my mother went into the hospital with pneumonia and within a few days, was put on life support as a last-ditch attempt to save her life.

When they put her on the ventilator, I wept tears filled with sorrow.

When they told me they had removed the breathing tube and she was able to breathe on her own again, I wept tears of joy.

Next week, she will undergo major surgery for a different problem. It is high risk because of her underlying medical conditions.  I know that and so does she. When I wish her well, as they take her off to the operating room, I already know that - no matter how strong my faith - all the love I feel for my mother, the joyful memories of the happy times we have spent together, the hopes and dreams for all I still want to share with her, and the fear of losing her, will well up inside me ... Once again, I will weep.

I am not ashamed of my tears.

Even Jesus wept. He wept when He saw his friend Lazarus, dead. He wept when his other friend, Judas, betrayed Him. He wept when He saw what was to come on the cross. It didn’t matter that He knew the ultimate ending, His glorious resurrection.

When life – and the prospect of death – was overwhelming, Jesus wept. 

Jesus isn’t a weakling. He is strong enough to conquer temptation, sin and death! And yet, here on earth, dressed in mortal flesh, even Jesus needed a good cry sometimes.

When His flesh cried out, “I hurt!” Jesus needed to let out His human emotions and pain, in order to let in the love of the Father and the power of the Holy Spirit.

Jesus’ tears meant the same as ours. His tears said, “I need…” 

Just as Jesus needed the love of the Father and the power of the Holy Spirit to give Him the strength to overcome what He faced - to take him from suffering and death to life again – so we need God to carry us through our trials and our tears.

On any given day, my tears may mean many things. When I’ve been pushed out of my comfort zone, in unfamiliar territory, and I’m scared. I’m confused. I’m overjoyed with happiness. I’m overcome with grief. I’m hungry, angry, lonely or tired. I’m stressed and overwhelmed. When I need comfort, I need shelter, I need rest.

In the end, when I let it all out – when the tears fall from my eyes with an outpouring of unspoken emotion – I will let in the Holy Spirit and find strength again. Whatever I’m going through won’t last forever. This too shall pass. I will fall into God’s loving arms and feel His warm embrace, as He helps me to my feet again.

There, there, it’s OK. Love is here.

When Tears Begin to Flow originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. 

Many of Spring Sight's posts can also be found each week on Crystal Storms' #IntentionalTuesday,  Kelly Balarie's #RaRaLinkUp, Holly Barrett's Testimony Tuesday, Arabah Joy's Grace & Truth, Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart,  and Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday. This week, I am also linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee. 

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How Bad Is It Really? Perception vs Realty

The Real RD Fact #5: Rheumatoid disease is often an invisible illness.

This is the first article on rheumatoid disease (RD/RA/rheumatoid arthritis) written for Rheumatoid Awareness Day. It is centered on RD Fact #5: Rheumatoid disease is often an invisible illness.

The words from the company CEO cut into me like a knife. “I’m sorry, but the truth is that perception is reality,” he said.

It wasn’t the first time I had heard that, and it wasn’t the last. But it didn’t hurt any less. The truth didn’t matter. I was being judged by outward appearances, not by what was really going on. And even a valid explanation wasn’t going to do. To him, perception was all that mattered. Everything else – my feelings, or even the facts – was irrelevant.

If you’ve ever been misjudged, you know how much it hurts. It hurts when you’re misjudged by strangers, and it is even more painful when it is by family or friends. “Don’t they know me better than that?” you find yourself saying. And yet, seemingly, they don’t.

Unfortunately, being judged or misjudged is a frequent occurrence in the life of those with rheumatoid disease. It comes with the territory of having an “invisible illness,” one with few outward symptoms.

I find myself battling the “perception vs reality” war often. On-the-water selfies have become a tradition for me and my kayaking husband, as they serve to document our paddling travels. Likewise, my tween daughter and I love to play “silly face” with the camera, frequently posting our antics on social media for our friends to see and to preserve our fun memories when they pop up later in our Facebook feeds.

The only problem with this is that with every picture of fun that is posted, the perception becomes that I’m never suffering with my rheumatoid disease. But why would I post all about the pain? The last thing I want to be is a public whiner, and I really do try and keep a positive outlook. Even my sunny posts designed to encourage others often do double duty, encouraging me when I need a lift.

Then there is the “fake it till you make it” scenario. That was me this morning. Dead tired, with a knee that had throbbed all day yesterday, I dressed up in business attire for a meeting. I was greeted with “Oh, you’re looking great!” by several people. I smiled, thanked them, and tried my best to stay focused on the issue at hand, when inside I was wishing I had been able to rest at home a little longer and wear my comfortable sweats and tennies.

*Sigh* Perception vs reality at work again. I knew that my appearance would make an impression, and I couldn’t afford to be judged a slob. Despite how I felt when I woke up this morning, or how I feel any other day, I am determined not to give into my disease. So I suit up and show up. Day in, day out.

Of course, the issue with keeping your pain from others on a regular basis is that there will in fact be times you can’t fake it and you can’t make it. When you’re too tired to work and you have to take a nap. When your feet hurt too bad to stand and do the dishes. When you have to wear the comfy (frumpy) clothes because your hands can’t manage buttons and zippers. When you (literally) can’t move off the couch or kneel at your child’s bedside to tell them that story you promised.

It is in those honest moments - when we are too overcome with pain or fatigue - that we are at our most vulnerable. To those around us, we may seem lazy. Slobby. Slouchy. Pathetic even. Because we were “just fine yesterday” we are perceived as whiners today. The reality, however, could not be further from the truth.

Ask anyone with rheumatoid disease, and we want to do more. We grieve the loss of our time with others. We guilt ourselves too, over not being all that we would like to be as employees, as parents, as spouses, as friends, even as adult children who would like to do more for our aging parents. We want to be more too. More active. More fun. More healthy. More … of all we used to be, before our autoimmune disease lay claim to our lives.

The truth of an invisible illness like rheumatoid arthritis is that perception clearly does not equal reality. The question is what will you do about it? Having an invisible illness gives me a choice of whether to stay steeped in my own pain, or whether to live as a fraud.  For me, it is about balance. I will find joy where I can, celebrate the tiny moments of pleasure, endure the pain, and be honest about who I am. RD affects me every day. There is no escaping that. But it does not define me. And for that, I am grateful.

If you have an invisible illness like rheumatoid disease, how do you balance perception versus reality? If you aren’t chronically ill, how do you perceive those who are? How much of a challenge is it to accept that their reality may be different – and more painful - than the positive image they are projecting?

How Bad Is It Really? Perception vs Reality originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. 

Many of Spring Sight's posts can also be found each week on Grace Esedeke's EncourageMe Monday, Crystal Storms' #IntentionalTuesday,  Kelly Balarie's #RaRaLinkUp, Holly Barrett's Testimony Tuesday, Arabah Joy's Grace & Truth, Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart,  and Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday.

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Finding Shelter - God as My Refuge

"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.'"
- Psalm 91:1-2

It's happened two out of the last three years. Our fall getaway - a special tradition established at the very beginning of our relationship, designed to be a time to relax physically and reconnect emotionally - has been marred by pain.

Today, as we get ready to head to the little country cabin hideaway we picked out for this year's trip, I wonder ... will it happen again?

I'm trying to stay positive. The last few times, we had lots of extraneous events and stress leading up to the weekend, something I used as a reasonable explanation for my outrageous headaches, facial pain, and malaise. This year, we built in a buffer. My deadlines and parenting stress ended yesterday, and we're not leaving for a few hours. Yay! Relaxation mode is beginning to kick in.

Nevertheless, the fact remains that I've been in a roller coaster of RA flares for the past couple of months. Migraines. Neck pain. Sore hands and feet. A swollen knee. And of course, the never ending battle of fatigue.

Today, I was lucky. My headache dissipated on its own.

When I wake up tomorrow in that little cabin, will I cheerfully greet the day with a smile and be able to enjoy going out on the covered porch to take in all the beauty of the fall leaves and mist rising up from the lake? Or will I be desperately pressing my fingers into my temples and the back of my neck, as I lay in the dark, covers over my head, praying for relief to come before my head explodes into full-blown migraine mode?

I'm hoping for the first scenario, but prepared for the second. Armed with healthy foods, a small stock of pain meds, and a positive attitude, I know one thing for sure: something good will come out of this!

Last year, I spent most of my time in the cabin. But the time I spent out in my kayak ... those few, precious moments of soaking in God's creation and enjoying time with my "bestie" ... were the best moments of the year. It was then I realized that with chronic illness, there is no permanent reprieve. There is no set schedule. There is no assurance of things to come.

What there is assurance of, however, is that God is there in the midst of it all. What is a "shelter" but something to shield us from the storms of life? What is a "refuge" but a place to go when trouble is near? What is the value of "rest" if not for our tired, weary bodies and souls?

Whether I'm working through my daily life challenges or on "vacation," I have a choice: I can struggle, or I can rest. I can fight, or I can find refuge.

Instead of asking myself "Will this year be different?" I am choosing to ask "What will I do differently this year?"

Today, I am choosing serenity: to change the things I can and accept the things I cannot. I cannot predict what will be. But I can choose with Whom I will walk on the journey. And that One is my rest, my refuge, no matter what the days ahead hold.

Are you taking shelter in the shadow of the Most High God? Are you allowing Him to give you rest and refuge, even in the midst of pain? Remember, He will never leave you. Just take hold of His hand.

Finding Shelter - God as My Refuge originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. 

Many of Spring Sight's posts can also be found each week on Crystal Storms' #IntentionalTuesday,  Kelly Balarie's #RaRaLinkUp,, Holly Barrett's Testimony Tuesday, Arabah Joy's Grace & Truth and Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday.

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Four Truths for When You Reach the End of Your Rope

“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
I Corinthians 13:7 (ESV)

Calgon, take me away! I thought to myself. I am not sure if I can handle one more single thing!

It had been one of those days. And weeks. And months. You know the kind. The period of time when the stress of life piles on and on and on, until one moment, you just snap and exclaim, “I am truly at the end of my rope!”

Sometimes, that moment rushes in quickly. You wake up late, break the heel on your favorite pair of shoes as you’re racing out the door, spill your coffee in the car, and try not to yell or show your embarrassment as your child hugs your leg tighter and tighter at the daycare drop-off. As you pull away, your boss is calling on your cell phone, while in the rear view mirror you can still see the tears running down your little one’s face, while screaming “Mooommmyyyy!!!” Within just a few hours of waking up, you’re already tearing your hair out, dreaming of making a speedy escape from it all. Perhaps Bermuda would be nice this time of year, Triangle and all.

While days like that can be over-the-top frustrating, most of the time I reach the end of my rope gradually. It’s like playing the tower-of-blocks game Jenga. One little piece at a time is moved – taken away or put on the stack - until finally, it becomes too unstable and everything comes crashing down with a bang. Like it did the other day.. When, after a growing sense of pain and pressure from a variety of circumstances, I totaled my car. Yep, that’s right. Totaled it.

I had felt it coming on for a while. My body has a pretty good warning system. Joint pain. Fatigue. Daily migraines. A quick temper. I should have known it was time to take a ”mental health day,” and yet, while I can call in sick at work, I have yet to figure out how to do that at home. Heck, even this article is coming later than I had planned, because just as I was writing it, my daughter came in and announced she had lice! There went the next six hours. Ugh.

Sometimes, it all just gets to be too much.

I’m lucky to say no one was injured in my accident…oh, and $300 (and loads of laundry) later, my daughter no longer has lice. But regardless of the outcome, my nerves feel a little frazzled, to say the least. It’s that feeling of being overwhelmed, drowning in a giant ocean of obstacles and challenges, and trying to just keep my head above water.

I may say to myself, “Just breathe…it will all be OK,” but actually doing it is another thing all together.

Whether we’re drowning in the everyday details or we’ve just been whacked upside the head with a big traumatic event, God encourages us in His Word to let go of our own rope, when we get to the end of it … and instead, reach up to His. And in doing that, we can hold on to four key truths, based upon 1 Corinthians 13:7.

1. God is the support system you can’t live without. When God says “love bears all things” that is a description of what He wants to be for us: a loving Father who supports us when we are weak. When we can’t carry our load of life struggles, He is there to bear the weight for us.
2. God believes in you, even when you don’t believe in yourself. God says He is love, and love believes in all things … including you! No matter how much you may think you can’t do this, or perhaps you’re still beating yourself up for the mistakes you’ve made, God sees the very best in you and knows you can do this!
3. God wants you to keep living in hope. When we trust only in the chaos and confusion of life circumstances, it’s hard to remain hopeful. God wants us to trust in Him, the author of hope. The hope we have in Him is not circumstantial, but rather is steadfast during difficult times, because we know that in His bigger plan that we can’t see, He works all things for good.
4. God is your strength for the long haul. Life may feel at times like a series of sprints, where you’re running as hard and as fast as you possibly can, but the reality is that it’s a marathon. And as any marathon runner will tell you, just finishing the race is an accomplishment in itself. It takes training, patience, perseverance, and commitment to get to the finish line, along with a solid supply of high energy nutrition and life-sustaining water. Without a regular supply of Daily Bread (Scripture) and Living Water (the Holy Spirit) that Jesus offers, we can’t make it through this life. We need His strength for the endurance we need.

Today, as I look back over the circumstances that led me to the “end of my rope,” I see God in the midst of it all. He was there as I grieved over the death of a friend, while reconnecting with another who sat next to me at the service. He was there in the comfort and grace I received from my husband after my accident, and the gratitude I felt that my precious child was unhurt. And yes, He was even there in the middle of my lice crisis, which led me across town and into the path of someone who needed help in that very moment. As I see Him there, ever present, I can relax. Life can get crazy sometimes, but God’s got it all under control. My part is to trust. Let go of my rope. And hold onto His.

Have you reached the end of your rope? If your life is filled with frustration and pain, let go of your own rope, and reach up and hold onto the strong rope that your Heavenly Father has sent down to save you. Then remember, when things get a little bumpy, just keep holding on! 

Four Truths for When You Reach the End of Your Rope originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter. 

Many of Spring Sight's posts can also be found each week on Crystal Storms' #IntentionalTuesday,  Kelly Balarie's #RaRaLinkUp,, Holly Barrett's Testimony Tuesday, Arabah Joy's Grace & Truth and Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday.

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