How Aware Are You?

"The Lord your God is in your midst..." - Zephaniah 3:17

Being laid up has a way of making me pause for thought. After all, just how many taped TV shows can one watch? It's been just over a week since my shoulder surgery and after lots of TV, a couple of movies and a novel under my belt, I finally decided I needed to write - even if it's with my left hand, using my cell phone keyboard! Yes, this will probably be the shortest post on my blog. :-)

I got the news yesterday that the damage to my shoulder wasn't just due to an injury, but rather by my rheumatoid arthritis (RA) as well. And just as I'm waiting to heal from this surgery, my other shoulder (along with other joints) hurts also, signaling that my disease isn't finished with me yet. Clearly, RA is a journey, not a destination.

The good news is that God isn't finished with me yet, either. He is at work in me, just as He is in you. I was sad to see someone on one of my RA support group boards expressing dismay over his "disgusting" life. Yes, RA is disgusting, but our lives don't have to be. I am reminded of that each time I meet an amazing, interesting person and then subsequently learn that they also have RA or another debilitating autoimmune disease. The pictures of my RA support group board members tell that story too. Their posts may tell of pain and struggle, but their photos show joy and laughter with loved ones. Our bodies may be in pain, but our souls don't need to be. The abundant life - one found as we walk hand in hand with our Creator - is like a rose: there may be sharp, painful thorns on the stem, but also attached to that same stem is a beautiful flower, soft and coloful, with a sweet scent that lingers in the air. No matter what our circumstances, through Him we can find joy, hope, peace...love.

March is Autoimmune Disease Awareness Month. If you don't have an autoimmune disorder, find someone who does and give them a hug. They are likely to be suffering silently, as these diseases are often "invisible" to others until they are in the latter stages. If you do have one of these diseases, know you are not alone. Some of the best support groups are on Facebook and there are some other great blogs. I would be remiss if I didn't include links to a few I am especially grateful for, who have shared my Spring Sight blog with their readers: Rheumatoid Arthritis Information (on Facebook) and Living with RA (blog). I especially like Living with RA's recent article on "comparing our scars."

During this special month, I hope you will join me in being more aware; not just of Autoimmune Disease, but of God. Exactly where He is leading me, I do not know, but I trust Him enough to follow. No matter where I am or what I face, when I pay attention, I can feel His presence. I am aware of His love. Are you?

How Aware Are You? originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins.  Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.

Subscribe to Spring Sight by Email Your privacy is very important. Your email address will not be shared with any 3rd parties. 

F.E.A.R. and Fire Walking

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6

One of the most poignant images that remains in my mind from my childhood years in Asia is that of a scene from an Indian temple: thin, dark skinned men dressed only in loin cloths, walking barefoot across a bed of hot coals. Looking straight ahead, barely even blinking, they kept their focus on their destination, rather than on the scorching fire under their feet. How they made it across without third degree burns, I have yet to understand, but somehow they did.

Today, some 40 years later, I opened up my Bible and happened across the story of Peter, whom Jesus called out of his fishing boat in the midst of a storm and, much to the amazement of the other disciples (and even himself!), found himself walking on water. Unlike the fire walkers I witnessed as a child, Peter quite didn't make it to his destination, though. Why? Midway to Jesus, he lost his focus and succumbed to something we all struggle with: F.E.A.R.

One of the best definitions I know of this deadly emotion is “False Evidence Appearing Real.” How often do we face situations with dread, not because of how bad they really are, but of what we fear they may be? And despite statistics that tell us at least 80-90 percent of what we worry about never happens, we worry anyway.

The source of our dread varies. Sometimes, it’s based on our past. “I've been hurt before…what if I get hurt again?” is a common response to emotional pain and can prevent us from giving ourselves fully to a new relationship, even of the best kind. We build a wall of isolation around ourselves, and then wonder why we’re lonely. Or perhaps we've lost a job or two, and let our failures define us, never again daring to pursue something we were once passionate about, for fear that we will be rejected one more time. Maybe we've given up trying to lose weight, quit smoking, or quit that addiction that is keeping us in bondage, all because we haven’t succeeded yet. We get so wrapped up in the False Evidence Appearing Real – that our past is our future – that we can’t move forward. Not when we’re bound in F.E.A.R, anyway.

Other times, the F.E.A.R. isn't based upon our own experiences, but rather what we hear about those of others. A lot of racial tensions could be avoided if we didn't let the experiences of a few influence how we perceive many. Rather than leaving it at “he did…” we let our emotions tell us “they will…” Yes, False Evidence Appearing Real. When we see members of our family succumb over and over again to the same illness, we often assume that will be our fate. Or perhaps we hear stories of people who have the same disease we already have, and the wheels start turning in our heads. We cry out, as if we are already experiencing the pain of a future not realized yet, “Oh my gosh…will that happen to me?” F.E.A.R. at work again.

Regardless of the source of our fear, there is one reality that is always forgotten in the midst: God is with us. There is hardly a chapter in the Bible that doesn’t contain the reassurance that He will not leave or forsake us. He not only tells us that it’s foolish to worry, but as in today’s verse from Deuteronomy, He actually commands us not to fear. Perhaps He repeats it often, because He knows we are so prone to it. 

Fear reflects a lack of faith, as Jesus points out to Peter in that water-walking lesson. As long as Peter walked in faith – believing in the power and presence of God, keeping his eyes on Jesus – he walked across that stormy sea. What caused him to start sinking was all that “stinking thinking” as he looked around and focused instead on his circumstances, his emotions, and perhaps even what the other disciples in the boat were thinking: the False Evidence Appearing Real. What happened next is what God does every time with all of us. Jesus reached out His hand to Peter, catching him as he fell, and asked the obvious, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” Why did you doubt you could do something you've never done? Did you doubt I would give you the power? Did you doubt I would keep you safe, every step of the way, no matter how big the waves crashing around you? Why, after all you've seen me do in your life and for others, did you doubt my love?

Tomorrow morning, I will undergo surgery for the first time in my life. For those who have been through multiple surgeries, it probably doesn't seem like a big deal. After all, it’s on my shoulder, not any of my vital organs. I wish knowing that is all it took to keep me out of F.E.A.R. but I’m not immune to that four-letter word. Normally confident in my ability to get through and rise above just about any situation in life, I lay in my husband’s arms last night and whispered in the dark, “I’m terrified.” Taking from my own past of bad reactions to medications, to a close relative’s near-death experience with anesthesia, I had let my mind go into full “worst case scenario” mode, brimming over with False Evidence Appearing Real. There was only one thing that could calm my anxiety: the key fact that my husband gently reminded me of - that when I go into the operating room, God will be there. He will never leave nor forsake me. Yes, I hear Him whispering to me now in His still small voice, “Oh, my child, why did you doubt? Do not be afraid or terrified, for I, the Lord your God, who loves you beyond measure, goes with you!”

What do you do when you encounter fear? Are you able to recognize it as False Evidence Appearing Real? Can you push it aside in order to focus on the One who is leading you to something better, if only you will trust Him, step by step, to get you to the other side of what you’re facing?

For more encouragement through song, listen to Chris Tomlin's song "Faithful."

F.E.A.R. and Fire Walking originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins.  Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.

Subscribe to Spring Sight by Email Your privacy is very important. Your email address will not be shared with any 3rd parties. 

Pride and Prejudice: What are you? Who are you?

“The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7b

Almost 10 years ago, when my daughter was just a baby, I was sitting on a bench in a shopping mall, with her in the stroller next to me, when a young couple walked up and then stopped. “Aw! She’s so cute!” the girl said, looking at Jenna’s little baby face smiling up at her. “What is she?” Huh??? I thought. “Um, a baby,” I replied. The couple looked at each other and then back at me, “No, I mean, what is she?” It took me a minute or two to realize that they were inquiring about my daughter’s race, as her skin is darker than mine. “Oh…she’s Hispanic,” I answered.

Until that moment, I really hadn’t given too much thought about what my baby was. I was focused on who she was: my precious little girl Jenna! Yet, in the time that’s passed between then and now, I have realized that we as people often view others (and sometimes ourselves) as what we are, rather than who we are. It’s much easier that way, isn’t it?

What we are is a much simpler question to answer, enabling us to categorize people by their race, their religion, their profession…the list goes on. Who we are is a much more complex question, and requires deeper knowledge of things like character, something often only really known by ourselves and by God. If we are open and transparent enough, perhaps our close family members or friends will know us well enough to be able to say who we are, but it takes time for our fullest, truest selves to be revealed. 

We all come with prejudices – preexisting ideas about people – that are not necessarily positive or negative, but are shaped by what we are taught and by our experiences. That’s one of the dangers of only looking at what someone is, rather than who they are. Describe someone as a “corporate executive” and some might look upon that person as a hardworking, successful pillar of the community, whereas others might think of him as a self-centered, greedy person who doesn’t care about anyone or anything other than lining his own pockets. Unfair, right? You really don’t know which portrayal is accurate – and the truth may lie somewhere in between the extremes – unless you get to know who the person is you’re describing.

Even when we try hard not to label people with our prejudices in mind, we do it anyway. We do it when we think about others, and we do it when we think about ourselves. It is ingrained in our society. In fact, one of the most commonly asked questions we are asked as children is “What do you want to be when you grow up?” It continues as adults too. “What college did you go to?” “What do you do?” “What do you drive?” “What do you weigh?” and the really hot one these days, “What (political party) are you?” What, what, what?? With every answer, we put ourselves and others into a little box labeled WHAT. Sometimes, we like the WHAT box a little too much, smug and proud, thinking that’s all that matters. In other cases, the WHAT box doesn't measure up to “standards.” And if we don’t like the WHAT box, we don’t like who is in it.

God knows we have an identity crisis. He knows we tend to make snap judgments, based on outward appearances. That’s why Jesus said, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” This is not an admonition to ignore sin in others, so that God will ignore yours. It speaks to the attitude we are to have towards each other: humility. Jesus continues, “For others will treat you as you treat them.” Ouch! Yes, judging others only by what they are on the outside can have a boomerang effect.

Jesus goes on to explain how our tendency is to point out the faults in others, while ignoring our own, and that the solution to both pride and prejudice is to take the “board out of our own eye” so we can see our brother clearly. What does that mean? It means that when we realize how much grace we need, by looking at our own shortcomings, we see others in a new light, perhaps being willing to look beyond just what they are and see who they are.

What if our biggest problem with the WHAT box isn't how we view others, though, but rather how we view ourselves? As illustrated in the earlier example of the corporate executive, how we see the WHAT box is a matter of our perspective, and sometimes we don’t have the best view. Is what you see yourself as enough? I had the most wonderful conversation the other day with a friend, whom I consider just delightful. Unfortunately, she hasn't always seen herself that way, suffering from depression. The fact is, we all have insecurities that can cloud our vision of ourselves. Some of our WHAT boxes may be beautiful to others, but look ugly to us. Or perhaps we have blind spots that others can see but we can't. We need grace for ourselves, as much as we need to give it to others.

Fortunately, unlike humans, God isn't concerned with our WHAT boxes. Today’s verse from 1 Samuel 16:7 makes that clear:  God doesn't judge us as books by their covers. He sees much more than what we are, into the very heart of who we are. The Bible is full of examples of people who didn't have what it took (from a human perspective) to be used by God, but He knew they were who He needed to get the job done. No matter what you are, He loves you for who you are, and His love for you never changes. His Word says, in Jeremiah 31, “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love; with unfailing kindness I have drawn you to myself.”

Who are you? His.

What are you? Loved.

How are you at separating the what from the who when thinking about others and yourself? Is your identity found in your relationship with God, who sees your heart and loves you endlessly and unconditionally, or in your WHAT box of outward appearances and worldly achievements?

Pride and Prejudice: What are you? Who are you? originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins.  Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.

Subscribe to Spring Sight by Email Your privacy is very important. Your email address will not be shared with any 3rd parties. 

Midlife: Crisis or Opportunity?

“There is a time for everything, and everything on earth has its special season.” – Ecclesiastes 3:1

Midlife. It’s pretty much what it’s cracked up to be. Lines and wrinkles? Ugh! Gray hair? Quick, get the Clairol! And those hips and midriff? Uh, yeah, let’s not even go there.

I would love to say I feel great about all of these bodily changes, but alas, I cannot. I am like most people, who, when their bodies are slowing down and changing (usually not for the better), their minds are screaming, “Noooooo!” Yes, it’s true. My body may be saying it’s getting older, but my mind says I should still be able to do anything I want and look just as good as I did in my 20’s. It’s too bad my mind isn’t exactly on target, but I’m not beyond doing a lot to try and prove it wrong.

Every one of us, at some point in our midlife “journey,” comes to a moment when we wake up and wonder “What happened?” Perhaps it’s the day you went into the doctor for your regular checkup, and walked out stunned that you have a life-changing, possibly deadly, illness. Or the moment you discovered your spouse’s affair or were served the divorce papers. Maybe it was when you lost your job because there were younger people - who would work for lower wages - in line for it, and now you’re unemployed for the sole reason of being “overqualified.” Or maybe, just maybe, your life isn’t that bad at all, but the thrill is gone and you’re left wondering “Is this as good as it gets?”

The question is not whether you’ll ever have that moment (you will), but rather “What comes next?” You have a choice: fight reality and view it as a “crisis,” or embrace it and see it as an opportunity.

Many of us fall into the trap of the “midlife crisis,” trying desperately to recapture our fleeting youth. It manifests itself in different ways, from flashy sports car purchases to plastic surgery, to everything in between. Some self-medicate their feelings of insecurity with extramarital affairs, while others succumb to substance abuse or other addictions. And while these measures might make us feel better in the short-term, a self-imposed fantasy world can’t go on forever, and the crash back to reality can sometimes hit harder than if we had dealt squarely with it from the very beginning.

Contrary to today’s popular culture, which has discarded the notion of “aging gracefully” and replaced it with the idea of “fighting it, kicking and screaming,” the Bible says, “Gray hair is a crown of splendor, attained in the way of righteousness.” (Proverbs 16:1). Rather than seeing our age, and accompanying physical signs of it, as a curse, God tells us that it is a reward for a well-lived life. 

So how do we deal with midlife, then? Am I suggesting we shouldn’t try and look and feel our best? Absolutely not! The Bible is clear that we are to care for our bodies, even to the point of considering them a “temple” for the Holy Spirit that lives within us. It is also clear, however, that true beauty and honor shines from the inside out. It comes from loving God and serving others, and making holy and responsible choices that would honor our Creator. Proverbs 31:30 speaks specifically about this with its admonition, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

Back in the 1960’s, The Byrds recorded a song Turn! Turn! Turn! that ended up popularizing a Bible verse from Ecclesiastes. It echoed the words of King Solomon, who wrote, “There is a time for everything, and everything on earth has its special season.” Later, in the 1970’s, Fleetwood Mac’s song Don’t Stop reminded us to focus on tomorrow, because “yesterday’s gone.” Those lyrics are exactly what we need in order to get through any turning point in our life, including this transition from young to old that we call “middle age.” Just as a mountain climber on a steep slope is advised not to look down, but rather to focus on the climb itself and the goal of the summit, so we weather life’s changes best by realizing that life is made up of different seasons. We can only find satisfaction when we stop looking “in the rearview mirror” of our past, and instead focus on where we are and the opportunities that lie ahead.

Make no mistake, letting go of the past is never easy. Sometimes I miss the wild and crazy times of my 20’s and all the traveling I did in my 30’s, but I traded it in for a different, yet equally wonderful season as a mother. I cried every day for two years after my divorce, but eventually I accepted my new life and grew strong as a single working mom. Moving past my father’s death and dealing with some difficult medical situations have also not been easy, but I have found joy in the midst of pain. With every life change, I’ve had to grieve the past and embrace the present, often having to do some careful self-reflection along the way, taking a second look at my attitudes and behaviors, my career and even my friendships. The life I lived in seasons past is not the same life I live today, and so I must choose differently now.

At middle age, I am not where I thought I would be, but I’m right where I want to be. I may grimace when I see those pesky gray hairs and fine lines in the mirror, but then I remember – I’m standing here today and that in itself is a blessing! I may cry during the storms of life in this season of many changes, but then I look up – and see a rainbow of hope. By now I know that no matter what I face, God is with me in every season of life. I can stay in the present and embrace who I am and where I’m at. As the saying goes, “Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is a wish … today (middle-aged or not) is a gift!”

If you are middle aged or older, do you view your physical signs of aging as a hardship or can you accept (and even appreciate) them as a “crown of splendor”?  Are you holding onto the past or embracing the present? What does this season of your life look like today? How can you make the most of it?

Midlife: Crisis or Opportunity? originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins.  Get even more encouragement by following me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.

Subscribe to Spring Sight by Email Your privacy is very important. Your email address will not be shared with any 3rd parties. 

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