Monday, January 11, 2016

Getting My Life Back

"The Lord sustains them on their sickbed and restores them from their bed of illness." - Psalm 41:3 (NIV)

I went bowling Saturday night.

Yeah, I know it doesn't sound like much of a big deal. For much of last year, though, I wasn't too sure if I'd ever be bowling again.

This time last year, I couldn't even pull a pan out of the oven without crying out in pain. My shoulder, inflamed with a rotator cuff injury and torn biceps tendon - complicated by rheumatoid arthritis - wasn't getting any better with physical therapy and even anti-inflammatory drugs were useless.

When surgery became the only option, I thought that would make me feel better. Ha. If I thought I knew pain before I went under the knife, I was kidding myself. The aftermath was excruciating. The ensuing weakness was ridiculous. Just raising a glass to my mouth was hard work! After five months of physical therapy, I was able to lift 3-pound dumbbells. A few more months, and I was up to 5 pounds. Woo-wee! I felt like a real wonder woman then!

So you can imagine, then, my excitement (coupled with a little nervous anticipation) about the idea of me actually picking up and ... get ready for it ... throwing (!) a 10-pound bowling ball down a lane! I was even more amazed that despite having the (significantly) worst score of the group in the first game, I somehow managed to get my bowling game back on track to become the second-highest scorer in the second round. Wow! There's nothing like a comeback to make you feel great!

Truthfully, it's not just bowling I'm excited about. Bowling is representative of how I feel about my life. I'm getting it back. Slowly but surely, since my RA diagnosis, I'm beginning to feel like the "old me" again.

I'm back in the gym again, and not just for physical therapy. Yes, real workouts! They're shorter and less intense - having learned my lesson on overdoing it and causing a flare - but they are workouts nonetheless.

I'm cooking again. Not just because my family has to eat, but because I want to! I'm even back to poring over cookbooks to plan my next delicious meal.

I'm making my bed, putting on makeup and styling my hair. You know, those things normal women just do. The things I did out of habit until I couldn't do them. The things I probably could have done sooner, but my will to do them had just dried up. They took so much energy that I often skipped them to save enough energy to just get through the higher priority tasks of the day, like showering, dressing and working. After my surgery, and again when my rheumatoid disease was more active, those little self-care tasks felt so hard. Today, they feel good.

This isn't about remission. Today, I don't have any significant RA symptoms, and for that I'm grateful. But it isn't always like that. I have good days, bad days, and many in between. I'm learning how to manage my disease, though.

One of the greatest gifts I have been given since my RA diagnosis was a health coaching program called Pack Health. Through this program, which I discovered a few months ago through a fellow RA blogger, I have learned how to manage certain aspects of my life in order to keep my disease in check. By setting tiny goals and achieving them, and being cheered on by my fabulous coach each week, I have begun to feel better physically.

I have also noticed a change in my outlook. I now know that while I can't control all aspects of my disease, I have control over some areas of my life and that positive change begins with ME!

Every choice I make - from the food I eat to getting fresh air and exercise - makes a difference. In partnership with God - whom I go to each day for the faith, hope and strength to keep on keeping on - I now have confidence that how I feel on bad days isn't how I will feel everyday. And the good days just keep getting better!

For me, beating RA means getting back to being me. Rediscovering the passions in my life, and maybe even finding some new ones. Taking advantage of the good days, making the best of the bad ones, and even making the most of the ones in between. Being able to say, everyday, "Today is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it." It's a new day!

How has a chronic illness or life situation affected you? What tools have you employed to control or overcome the adverse effects of it? Even if you can't do all you used to do, what ways have you found to still be uniquely you and find joy in your everyday life?

Getting My Life Back originally appeared on Spring Sight blog, by Linda W. Perkins. Click here for more posts. Get even more encouragement by following me on FacebookPinterest, and Twitter

Many of Spring Sight's posts can also be found each week on Grace Esedeke's EncourageMe MondayCrystal Storms' #IntentionalTuesday,  Kelly Balarie's #RaRaLinkUp, Holly Barrett's Testimony Tuesday, Arabah Joy's Grace & Truth, Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart,  and Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday.


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15 comments:

  1. When you commented on my blog that you had chronic pain, I wanted to come here and find out more. I am so glad you are making such good progress! I am a cancer survivor, and have had horrible pain in the past, but no more pain now for several years and I am cancer-free for 5 years! God is a great healer! Praise Him!

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  2. Thanks so much, Janet! Congratulations on being cancer-free! I know what a big deal that is (in fact, you'll have to tune in next week for my upcoming blog, where I talk about just that). Great to meet you! God bless! :-)

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  3. I have a condition called POTS- postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. It is a nervous system disorder, but I have a light case as I am able to do life normally. When I first got my diagnosis, I was angry because of the limitations and changes I had to make. I was a high-energy, achievement driven person. All that to say this- I have found that surrendering to God has shown me how to live as He's called me, not like I perceived I had to be.

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    1. I totally hear you, Dana. In fact, I've written a couple of posts on acceptance and even embracing our "new normal." (see http://springsight.blogspot.com/2015/11/gods-answer-to-your-prayer.html for a recent post). Anyone with an incurable chronic illness like RA or POTS knows that full, long-term remission is extremely rare. I'm like you, in that my RA is not severe, but it still affects what I can and can't do. It feels good, though, when I reach little milestones (like bowling!) and find ways to enjoy where I'm at. God is good - all the time! Bless you and thanks so much for stopping in and sharing your thoughts!

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  4. Cheering you on as you throw more bowling balls daily, whether in the form of a pan or simply a glass, Linda. I've not had a chronic illness. I'm a whiney baby with a 5 day cold, so I'm impressed with your bravery in the face of life now lived differently. Thank you for being so open and sharing how God's goodness can shine through even in tough situations. Visiting today via #IntentionalTuesday

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    1. Thank you so much for visiting, Kristi, and for your encouragement! If it makes you feel better, I'm a whiney baby when I get a cold too! (See my blog post from around Thanksgiving, LOL) Of course, with autoiummune issues, colds last longer and can be a bit more complicated, but hey, miserable just the same! I'm so thankful to be well today and having a long enough period of "good days" to be really enjoying more activities. Hope you are having a great day and I'll visit you back! :-)

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  5. Hi Linda,
    Visiting from Holley's link-up today. Grateful to read how you are getting your life back because so often we feel discouraged by something that bumps into our normal lives, but what encouragement you bring us to keep making steps of progress and I'm cheering with you as raise that bowling ball! Enjoyed my visit here!

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    1. Thank you so much, Valerie! Yes, pressing on with God's help is what it's all about! Thank you for being an encourager to me! :-)

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  6. Hi Linda,
    I'm signed up to get your posts directly! Thank you for being such an inspiration! I'm not sure what I have yet. New MRI results show some severe damage to my spine top, middle, and bottom. This may be causing a lot of the nerve pain that has been literally all over. They originally went down the autoimmune path, but just a couple weeks ago decided to check the spine. I mentioned it early on, but no one listened! I don't know if it is related, but at the same time, I've had major food sensitivity. Maybe due to the nerves? Don't know... but can't eat any of the inflammatory foods - especially gluten without getting violently ill. Patience and faith! And inspiration from beautiful people like you!
    Hugs,
    Lori

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    1. Hi Lori, you are definitely in my prayers. If it is autoimmune, it could be Ankylosing Spondylitis, which affects the spine. Whatever it is, I know the pain and frustration of not knowing is hard. Oh, and the food sensitivities...my daughter and husband both have food issues and I know that's so life-changing and challenging. Hang in there, girl. Things are bound to get better soon! Keep looking UP. :-)

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  7. Hello Linda,
    Thank you for sharing your story. I have friends with autoimmune and they tell me how hard it is to manage sometimes. I don't have that, but I do have food sensitivities that literally send me into a stupor, and it's frustrating to always be so low on energy. A few months ago I was not well indeed, and what kept me going was the thought that I'll be over the hill soon. To be honest, I don't really find the Word very comforting at moments like these. I'm not sure how to cling to God either. I suppose he gives us enough to last us for the day?

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    1. Hi Elizabeth, I'm glad you're hear and I appreciate you sharing your heart. We all struggle to cling to God sometimes. And when we are sick, we aren't often looking to read anything, much less the Bible. Do you have a Bible promises book? If not, I would be happy to send one to you. It is a good way to find verses that speak to your situation. My idea of "clinging to God" is placing my trust in Him, that it will all be OK, that He will meet my needs. It may be through Divine intervention, medical treatment, or through the kindness of others, but through prayer I know He is there. Here is a page that lists Bible verses related to healing. http://www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/healing-bible-verses/ You might find one or two that speaks to you. Many Christian song lyrics are also based upon the Word and can be uplifting for that reason. If you go to the Helpful Resources page on this site, there is a link to my Spring Sight playlist. God bless you and keep you! Proverbs 8:17

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  8. I love this. I started making big health improvements five years ago. Sometimes I'm doing an activity today and I stop and think, "Remember when you couldn't do this?" Then, "Remember doing this the first time again? This is when you got your life back." It's a great feeling. I'm happy for you.

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    1. I hear you, Cathy! It really does feel great, doesn't it? When I look back to how I felt when this journey began, and some bumps in the road in the middle, I am so incredibly grateful for the progress I've been able to make! I'm not afraid of the future anymore either. :-)

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